So at this place, everything tastes like ham?

it's written in a kind of wind-talker code that no one could break, a blend of Dr. David patois and Rodriguezese.

Actual feedback from an interview (paraphrased, because it was 1999):

The part of his logic that I think is the absolute worst is that if you are a internet personality, you have to live with the risk of being swatted. It's like saying you have a safe full of money, so you should expect someone to try and rob you.

The Whole Wheat Toast is the best, because it was so obvious once I read it fully, but at that same time I had no idea of the punchline until the end.

Guys don't dump friends, they just fade away. That way, who knows, down the road your interests might converge and you're friends again. It's a very elastic concept.

I can't wait until the Redskins make the superbowl. As it will indeed be interesting to see how many players sell their procured allotment of game tickets, to secondary and tertiary market representatives in hopes of turning over a profit, or worst case scenario - breaking even.
And then in some cases demanding the…

I can't imagine the trouble I'd be in if I got sued for something I wrote on Deadspin. I mean, how the fuck would I even find a lawyer?

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, sh... hey, where'd you go!?!

NEOMG is also what Farmer texts his coaches when the Browns are playing the Patriots.

You are starting earlier and earlier each day. Maybe it's time for an intervention.

I'm a man and I like spicy food. But not overly hot. If it's spicy but has great flavor, I'm all into it. But if it's hot just to be hot, forget it. 'Oh, you make your wing sauce with 117 ghost peppers per quart? I'll pass. I like keeping the lining of my stomach intact.'

Let that be a lesson to you kids: if you want to be disoriented, woozy, suffer blackouts and have trouble standing on your feet, just get a concussion like a responsible adult.

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry to read all this (but very glad I did). I can't even imagine what being a female writer on the internet is like.

Ballghazi has given Patriots fans everything they could possibly want.

I'd ask her how it happened, but that's nun of my business.

Holy god, that was the most canned, rehearsed-sounding speech I've heard in a long while. The tone and cadence were pure Sally Struthers PSA. I kept expecting her to tell us that for just pennies a day, we could ensure that poor Iowa school children would have more than one pair of shoes.

I certainly understand. Sometimes things have an emotional value that far outstrips any monetary value it may have.

Champ Bailey could really beef up their secondary at the moment, and add some youth.

Cool the bears hired a guy whose career highlight is janet jackson's nipple.