NEOMG is also what Farmer texts his coaches when the Browns are playing the Patriots.

You are starting earlier and earlier each day. Maybe it's time for an intervention.

I'm a man and I like spicy food. But not overly hot. If it's spicy but has great flavor, I'm all into it. But if it's hot just to be hot, forget it. 'Oh, you make your wing sauce with 117 ghost peppers per quart? I'll pass. I like keeping the lining of my stomach intact.'

Let that be a lesson to you kids: if you want to be disoriented, woozy, suffer blackouts and have trouble standing on your feet, just get a concussion like a responsible adult.

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry to read all this (but very glad I did). I can't even imagine what being a female writer on the internet is like.

Ballghazi has given Patriots fans everything they could possibly want.

I'd ask her how it happened, but that's nun of my business.

Holy god, that was the most canned, rehearsed-sounding speech I've heard in a long while. The tone and cadence were pure Sally Struthers PSA. I kept expecting her to tell us that for just pennies a day, we could ensure that poor Iowa school children would have more than one pair of shoes.

I certainly understand. Sometimes things have an emotional value that far outstrips any monetary value it may have.

Champ Bailey could really beef up their secondary at the moment, and add some youth.

Cool the bears hired a guy whose career highlight is janet jackson's nipple.

You clearly aren't from anywhere that gets cold. It was -40 this morning where I am, and having a seat that heats up faster than the rest of the car is worth. every. penny.

There is little in this world that is more infuriating than a power-tripping bureaucrat unwilling to listen to common sense.

Who foots the moving bill?

Mumps sat alone in a boggy rink

I thought most hard asses liked Charmin!1!!11

Great tactic actually. If history has told us anything about Kobe, it's that first comes the assault, then comes the ring.

Why isn't this filed to "Kobe Beefs"?

I hate that Bud Light commercial with Jimmy Johnson. The "unsuspecting guy" isn't even in a bar. It's a 10'x10' room with people wearing solid colored polos or NFL shirts.

"And then, there's the opposite moment, when you are fully prepared to go out there and kick the shit out of everyone, and you show up to the field DEAD. Your body feels heavy. Your brain feels groggy. All of your teammates are quiet for some reason. It's like a fucking ghost passed through the team prior to…