This reminded me of my favorite ever Miss Manners Q&A:

Hahahahaa, are we married to the same dude?! When we were long-distance dating Mr. Queef made me send him naughty pics on a USB by CERTIFIED MAIL because he thought they’d be safer that way! I...don’t know about that :-/

I just sent this in but I am a grey and it probably won’t get read. In negotiations for a three-some with my current male lover we had a plan whereby I was having a promising third man (who is bi) over. I was to warm him up to the idea and then invite lover #1 over. I wrote: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you…

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

Mr. Dr. Yoga Nerd MD got really drunk with his friends in like the first month we were dating and texted me something like “I wanna fuck you in high heel black boots”

She played Dr.Tom’s drug addicted daughter Sarah in the TV show ‘Being Erica’ and to me, Orphan Black Sarah & Being Erica Sarah are the same person.

Josiah Bartlet.

I have gotten a ton of responses saying “don’t do illegal shit and you won’t get arrested”. I am not going to respond to any of you directly and ungray you. I am going to say this, I don’t do illegal shit, but, there are places where I could be arrested for who I am, how I look, or being in the wrong place at the…

Make good use of the dismiss button, BL.

My nine year old self gave up his security blanket for a copy of Yo Noid on NES. It has all been downhill from there.

That’s lakeist. Lakes are statisticaly no more likely to attack pepole than other bodies of water.

I motion to my ward and he rushes up to the northwest tower of the castle to blow the conch shell.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE FROM MY FAVORITE MOVIE

Hi, welcome to BCO! We have fun here.

Yes, this, perfection.

I hope your asshole writes a bestseller countering all of your dick’s accusations, and that the two of them become embroiled in a decades-long media feud.

“How dare you mock the guy for not knowing what the beach is? Some people make it to age 50 without visiting the beach and somehow completely missing the ever-present representations of beaches in popular culture. Besides, many people suffer from Glorpman’s Syndrome, which is an inability to understand the…

My mother was widowed very suddenly and all-too-young but to her credit, she regained her impish side within the year. One fine day, she was in the local supermarket when she ran into one of the town’s nosiest and pettiest gossips who wasted no time in getting straight to the point, asking: so, what have you been…

My dress was a sample. I told everyone when they complimented me on it because I am my Nannie and I'm genetically required to tell people when I got a deal. "THANKS, I GOT IT FOR A THIRD OF THE REGULAR PRICE BECAUSE IT WAS THE SAMPLE EVERYONE TRIED ON."