Fist bump to my fellow boneless-faced chica!

Oh man. In my grade 7 yearbook photos, I am wearing silver lipstick.

That sounds suspiciously like a poodle permed mullet. I feel for you.

I have naturally curly thick hair. When I was in middle school I begged my mom to let me have it chemically straightened because I so desperately hated my hair at the time. (When you have an afro as a child in the suburbs of Colorado, you learn all about how kids are mean as hell)

There will be no bonus points for me. Thank God. This story is so embarrassing I don't think I've ever even told it to my wife (I just realized this as I typed).

My cousin just reminded me of this one.

A friend at work who I admired tons—she was soooo elegant and lovely in that way that seems effortless and natural, plus she was smart as hell—had hair similar in texture to mine, and we had similar complexions, too. So, I often cribbed her makeup tips. She also looked stunning with her chic short hair, while I had…

When I was about 15, I dyed my hair jet black. Which made me look like I was not only dead, but in advanced stages of decay. After a few months and a few inches of my natural (dark-blond) color growing in at the roots, I tried bleaching all of it platinum.

omg

that sweatband is everything

I have stick straight hair and wore it long with bangs from age 3-13. In the late 80s/early 90s my mother thought it would be cute to perm just the bangs. I repeat: just the bangs. She did this to me and my younger sister not once but twice and still defends the decision to this day. The pictures are too atrocious to…

I'll just leave this here....

I was a teen in the eighties. The entire decade was a beauty disaster. Where to start? The blush applied with a "contour brush?" The multi colored eyeshadow? The ungroomed brows? The crunchy hair? The year I "went goth?" (1985-1986)

I will donate if you promise to include some doggies in there. Then the doggies can have a news segment on the problem of cat-ness.

Alternate Fox News approved course titles:

Here it is right here..."he was bemoaning the amount of white students... trying to find suggestions how to make the campus less white".

That's how I feel about Jeremy Renner - I think they kind of have a similar thing going on as far as maybe looking like they've recently been in a fight. Renner used to be a little prettier, but the older he gets, the rougher he looks, and the more I find him attractive.

Um...guys...it's not okay to point and laugh at other peoples' bodies. I'm the last person in the world to be all "what about the men!1!!1!" and I generally have close to zero sympathy for penis anxiety, but the way people are reacting to this is fucking gross and really, really surprising for Jezebel. There are…