Sadly, no.

This is horrible and hilarious. And weirdly accurate.

It’s just incredible to me that an “erotic” novel contains sex scenes that are basically like “he thrust into me and OH MY. He touched me down there and AHH.” If I’m going to read porn I expect the writer to have some actual descriptive ability beyond “it felt like really good.”

Oh, I was reading it like she booked a separate seat for her dog. That’s what I’d do if I was rich. I don’t think my cat would like going under the seat.

It’s especially unfair when you think about the fact that in Sweden they can leave their babies out on the sidewalk and no one takes them.

Yeah, I really don’t understand people who do this. Whenever I see it I’m just like SOMEONE IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR DOG.

My mom’s recently picked up “cray cray.”

He doesn’t seem to have been as circumspect as you’d think a public figure leading the pedophile double life would be. Like with that woman he was dating/friends with it seems like he talked pretty openly about being attracted to kids, all “so would your kids be cool with it if we put cameras in their room and watched…

Plus, high heels plus a floor-length skirt increases your tripping potential exponentially. I’m not super clumsy, I walk in heels fairly well but I had a gown that was a bit too long recently, my heel caught the hem and I wiped the fuck out.

Ditto that for the “the ‘dead’ child actors showed up at the memorial!” Yeah the all-powerful government is really going to stage a massacre and micromanage the media and “actors” down to the last degree and then for no apparent reason torpedo the charade by sending the supposedly dead children to their own memorial.…

Bonus eyeroll points if the phrase “age like fine wine” is used to describe this process.

Haha, he was giving me the “women are just at their peak attractiveness at the age of 18” spiel in the course of 1) complaining about the fact that the 18-year-old girls who message him on Tinder are always only interested in trading nudes for sugar-daddy-style presents and 2) explaining why his mid-forties supposedly…

A guy said to me this weekend “I mean, you’re really hot now, but I bet you were even hotter when you were 17” and I was like BOY WOULD YOU BE WRONG.

Even more ridiculously, the family has sarcastically referred to the victims as “all these women who happen not to know one another” - like, implying that they’re all in on it together or something. Like they somehow all got together and compared notes and decided to launch a massive rape-lie conspiracy against him.

From the other comments I’ve read from him, he’s basically trying to create the narrative that these women are all drug addicts and criminals and hustlers who started accusing this poor innocent man of rape to get out of their traffic tickets or get away with being caught with weed in their cars, etc. This fits with…

Yeah, I’m continually confused about this too. If I set myself up a little office, put on scrubs or a white coat and dispensed medical advice, I’m pretty sure my first amendment rights wouldn’t keep me from a “practicing medicine without a license” charge.

Court transcripts show that Polanski was repeatedly and specifically told that he was not guaranteed any specific sentence. The judge did not agree to anything or “renege.”

My absolute least favorite is “front butt.”

This would not work for me because if you tilt the bag you can hear the Junior Mints rattle.

This is especially hilarious (and pathetic) because Oktaha, Oklahoma is white and rural as hell. It has a population of less than 400. The odds of these people ever having encountered a Muslim are incredibly low but they’re sitting around with signs and guards worrying about barring them from their redneck-ass store…