Can this get any more pathetic? Do we need any more evidence of the need for TERM LIMITS than her and the evil turtle?

I think we should exile him to Puerto Rico. Take his passport, and ban him from ever leaving the island. It’s pretty clear that politicians will find an excuse to keep him out of prison, so exile is the best we’ll get. And his money? There should be some left after the SIGNIFICANT restitution, fines, fees, and court…

Real men use a chainsaw.

They curd poutine some french fries for the Canadians who visit!

They’ll be disappointed when they discover that it’s made of WOOD.

It would have been best for Mr. Giuliani’s legacy for him to perish about 20 years ago. 

First the killer hornets, now this. But let’s worry about people crossing our Southern border, instead. Our politicians only serve themselves and the corporations that BRIBE them.

So, avoiding car wrecks is more important than my cool party? I think not...

The EZ Bake oven got its heat from an incandescent bulb, too, unless they’ve redesigned it in recent years. 

It’s only a matter of time before lava lamps become useless. Even now it’s hard to find bulbs for some models, and LED simply won’t do the job in this case. This is one of the few applications where you WANT the bulb to produce heat. I suppose someone can come up with a digital replacement, but like an electric…

Give him Epstein’s old cell.

How long before we get the argument that he HAS to be pardoned “to unite the country”? Just think- if the answer to that one had been  a resounding NO the first time around in ‘74, Trump would have never had the nerve to run in the first place. I say forget prison. Once he’s found guilty, a man of his stature deserves…

That can’t be too good for local wildlife. Remember how you’re not supposed to feed your dog chocolate? The same tends to apply to other critters, too. 

Anyone who denies climate change should be barred from AIR CONDITIONING. If they can still make their argument without breaking a sweat, the GOP has found their nominee...

Just think- if the political parties saw fit to fully vet their candidates, we could avoid incidents like this. I suggest we have the FBI work up a full report on both nominees, and release it to the American people unredacted. The mere threat of this would keep people like Trump from CONSIDERING running. 

What a colossal waste of taxpayer money. Can’t somebody just call Arthur Bremer? 

Get ready for a lot of explanations why he “can’t” go to prison. Is Elba available? How about Arthur Bremer? We need to consider every option in this case...

That applies equally to the entire genre. It’s a feature, not a bug. Milli Vanilli were trendsetters.

Never mind that bit about “thinking”.

Speak for yourself. My phone spends the vast majority of its existence sitting on a table, and it’s protected by a case and Gorilla Glass, so it’s probably not much dirtier than it was “brand new”. On average, I probably have about two conversations on it per week, and I don’t spend any time fiddling with it. If I…