Because I could not stop my Jokes

Angels have a thing for watching over babies laying in tufts of hay.

I love that the building will still have a subtle Trump stain on it ala Lady Macbeth.

Mark Twain once said “Golf is a nice walk spoiled by a pack of mongooses”.

On behalf of all straight, white men that did not vote Trump, I’m sorry and will do whatever I can to help right the ship for everyone.

I must say I’m starting to have some doubts about this Trump gentleman. I initially quite liked his idea to make America great again; I was lucky enough to visit the country recently and I rated it only “very good” rather than “great” (I knocked a mark off because the hotel kept forgetting to change our towels and…

One is for Ramming, one is for Dodging.

The hair bone is connected to the voice bone?

How on earth am I supposed to carry ladies and gentlemen? I’m not a fucking bus.

WHY AM I CRYING

Nobody expects the Spanish friend tradition.

Everyone is leaving. I am still traumatized by Burt and Mark.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

You shut your whore mouth. Mark Harmon is an angel from heaven and a gift from One True God.

My 3 month old son was in TEARS yesterday when he realized only women can be president and that Hillary Clinton hates him. I’m 95% sure that’s why he was upset. Of course I drank his tears to regenerate my power.

The Australians are simply used to their toilet water draining the opposite way down the walls.

Any time you can use a Life of Brian reference, you should.

It bothers me so much that this doesn’t actually rhyme...