Donald Glover did a great bit about this exact predicament. The gist of it was that while a lot of guys have somewhat amusing/outlandish stories about "crazy girlfriends", women do not have the same sort of stories, because "IF YOU HAVE A CRAZY BOYFRIEND, YOU GONNA DIE".

his music video "Big Rich Town" on the 4 train in the Bronx (for which 50 did not have a permit, tsk tsk)

Why is everything always about cannibalism with Christians?

What. The fuck. Is this.

Cadbury caramel eggs are treat for your mouth. That creme shit doesn't exist in my world.

I'm not usually one for this sort of quibble but "White Genocide Project" makes them sound pro, not con. That's some sloppy hatin', fellas.

I have yet to meet a disinterested salesperson.

My favorite milk? The leftover milk in the bowl after I've eaten all the Lucky Charms.

I am commenting without watching the video (that will have to wait until I'm not at work), but the Overprotective Daddy thing creeps me the hell out. I was recently talking with a friend about my ex-husband, who would joke about breaking the neck of any guy who ever hurt our (not even two-year-old!) daughter, and…

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

How do you know what flavor jellybean the milk is? Is it all the flavors at once? AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST ANSWER ME DAMMIT.

For real. Sometimes I'll commit myself to eating an entire (1.5ish cup) container of cut fresh pineapple from the produce section, but by the end of it my tongue is super upset with my decision. I cannot imagine 2 pineapples in one sitting.

Google never disappoints.

What should be more concerning about Beyonce's golfing photos are the terrible grip she has on that club. Got damn, take a lesson or something, that is not right at all.

I was reading and going yep, yep, okay. Where is the - ah yes, the foie gras. There it is. *Now* its fancy!

I have always felt a strong and emotional connection to members of the LGBTQ community. It was actually a huge disappointment for me, when I came of age and realized that I was sexually attracted to men. So when my sister came out, Ithought, Thank God, someone in this family can truly represent my passions and beliefs.

I did a fair amount of oat-sowing my freshman year of college. The school wasn't known for its diversity, and I was one of the few black girls on campus. Since I stuck out like a sore thumb, most of my hookups were followed by a fair deal of boasting and gossip. Depending on your gender, I was commonly referred to as…

I am a dude! I got this! THE WORLD SHALL BE SMOTHERED BENEATH A CRUSHING AVALANCHE OF DORITOS.

You are my hero Nymphodora!