Ambassador to Israel.

The Walking Dead: Negan & The Bear.

May the bald eagles migrate to Mexico, instead. Everything else, agreed.

She sounds like the type of person who invites people over for dinner and then tries to get them to invest in a ponzi scheme.

Okay, then, a follow-up:

She needs to take off my sorority colors, too. She looks like a fired bullet.

Anytime my boyfriend or I fart now we just blame it on Trump. Because we are grown ups.

Everybody sharts.... sometime

My dog puked yesterday and I’m blaming Trump. Hey now we can blame the president without irony.

Well, if you try to punch Rudy in the mouth, remember those teeth are a sentient organism on their own and could extend out and kill you.

look at this stupid messy bih.

I can’t recall the source but I remember reading that this is Netflix’s most watched show

These two should get a show together - I am constantly amazed at Obama’s ability to be at ease around people and his quick wit. America - you have a very cool President indeed.

Yes!!!! I eat like that, too, Gilmores, but it’s why my doctor feels the need to discuss the weight loss programs available through my insurance every single time I go in. Yes, even that time I just needed some antibiotics for my ear infection.

Prince PuffyPants is actually just a nickname, but his real name would dox me immediately, if anyone I know is here...

clop clop motherfuckers

If Britain and the US took these refugees, this story wouldn't exist.

This post is very offensive to the clumps of cat hair sitting around my house.