@Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan: The Minnow would be lost! The Minnow would be lost!

@DirkToberFest: Kurt Warner is so old he still thinks touchdowns are worth VI points.

@DirkToberFest: Kurt Warner is so old that he still thinks the annual Thankgiving Day game is played between the Lions and the Christians.

@DirkToberFest: Kurt Warner is so old that he calls the Statue of Liberty play the Collosus of Rhodes play.

I'm sorry what's going on here? I entered 'Erin Andrews Nude' and this is where I ended up.

@Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: If you were a panhandler on the street and had that written on your sign, then I would give you a quarter. Well done.

Strangely though he has no opinion of Jon Gosselin's hijacking of 'I'll Be Alright Without You'.

It's a pleasant domestic scene marred only by the presence on the bed of two children who, as far as I can tell, do not belong to the Hamels.

Finally somebody else who can't wait for the new Steven Seagal show! I don't think I'll be able to sleep the night before it airs. It will be like Christmas... with an extra karate kick to the head.

@FlakJack: "If I Did It, Here's How I Would Have Grabbed Her by the Back of the Neck and Hair and Pushed Her Downward"

@Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: I haven't seen the first 20. Will I still be able to follow the plot?

"He's blind in one eye."

Jonesin the Jerry

The Fast and the Furious: Reach Around Drift

Stephen Smith then went on to say that Obama can't repeat as president because Joe Biden is soft!

Upon being released, his wife announced her new book, "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened".

@Eamus Catuli: Or when 'Prefontaine' beat 'Without Limits' to the theaters. Yeah, I didn't see them either.

When asked to comment on this Barry Sanders replied, "Don't have sex before marriage or you'll have kids with brain damage."

Hormonal Rage: Any woman who lashes out at her husband for glancing at "that teenage whore in the halter top" gets to have her husband watch the game from inside an actual doghouse in the bleachers.

It's hard to blame the ball. After all, she did burn dinner.