I am not the first person to say this: KK looks like a goat. Right down to the soulless devil eyes.

Damn, my cheekbones are the weakest feature of my face. Couldn't you have gone with eyebrows? I keep those looking fresh to death.

Right. Because when I say I want to see a female-led superhero movie, I totally mean that playing a crappy sequel to a pretty good high fantasy RPG is an adequate substitute. While I'm at it, I might as well reread Little Women. After all, the characters are mostly women.

Dear National Review,

BABIES...TASTE BEST.

I don't think movie reviews are supposed to be objective. If they were, they'd just be a short plot summary and the runtime.

why are you here?

"[Firth] has a briefly seen, occasionally mentioned fiancée named Olivia (Catherine McCormack), who is a fellow skeptic and an intellectual peer, meaning that she has no chance with him."

Yeah, I'd give a complete pass. It shouldn't even be a question. We would not be having this discussion at all if the genders were reversed.

If my junk gets grabbed and they're at leg level, they're getting a fucking kick in the face.

Ex-husbands of women named Paula. They're probably also very sorry. Really, very truly, sorry.

Monoculture of any kind is a long-term ecological nightmare.

Chilling!

I must be a postfeminist self-parody because I genuinely think getting jizzed on for one second is less degrading than folding a grown man's underwear for free for your entire life and getting yelled at when you do it wrong. I mean, it's cool if being a housewife is your thing, but personally I'm just not that freaky.

Never, ever let anyone make you feel bad for talking about rainbow parties! Also, I don't know if you read my comment yesterday, but can you PLEASE lead us all in a Rainbow Party book club? It will remind us all of the heady days of our youths. We'll be blown away. It definitely won't suck. PRETTY PLEASE?

I always read his name as "Alan Rickman" and I go through a split second of panic and confusion.

Psh, when I get 100 balls for my birthday everyone just slut-shames me :(

I still hate Nancy Grace with the fire of one thousand suns.

every kid's meal should come with a pitcher of margaritas.