Would this be to offset the shame of having a rapist for a quarterback?

Born and raised and still live in Pittsburgh here...I have to respectfully say you're way off. Maybe there is a small group of Yinzers who would behave this way but for the most part, what you're describing seems a little unfair in a city where the culture has transformed so dramatically in the past 30-40 years. You…

Have you ever mentioned your significant other to anyone at work? Mentioned going on a date? Told a story about an old ex?

Straight people come out all the time, but no one realizes that's what they're doing.

SEC defensive player of the year and an All-American in college. If he doesn't get drafted we'll all know why. Good lord, I hope the NFL GMs and scouts aren't completely brain dead.

WHO THE FUCK IS GOOGLE THOUGH.

Surely you should only be selling people on Etsy?? I, at least, consider myself home-made and unique (and maybe a little vintage).

This is why I rob banks.

No, not "problem over." The police aren't as friendly and helpful as you think. Plus, even if you do call the police, we still live in a rape culture, so we're still vulnerable to being preyed upon by men. Glad you've had such an amazing experience with being helped by the police, though! Please, do share!

Stuff like this is why if I have children, I plan to raise them in the past.

Who the hell is that chocolate covered snack?

Exactly! If you don't have pomegranate molasses, just use pomegranate concentrate. If you don't have pure virgins, "experimenting" band geeks will do. One only has so much time between yogalates and book club to dedicate to the Dark Arts, after all.

I really only read one HP fanfic, a really long and amazingly epic one that must now be ten years old. It totally featured Draco prominently and since then I have alwaysss "shipped" (I'm probably using this wrong) him as a real and developed character who ends up with Hermione. Your story sketch hit all of my favorite…

That's why I always get knocked up and then get an abortion once a week. Not only are there stem cells in the fetus goo, but I can be sure its blood is virginal.

A mic stand's a poor substitute for a real brass pole, from both durability and safety standpoints.

And this is why the only thing I ingest is pure, organic virgin's blood. Great for the skin, too! And running them down on moonlit nights is great exercise.

Be fair, who would not hit that? I am straight, and I would knock the tan off them.

Haha, I'd read the shit outta this.

I would much rather read this story than whatever it is I read above.