Myth: Lube is only for penis/vagina sex???

Welcome to Lifehacker, where you are doing EVERYTHING WRONG. You stupid fuck.

Oh, no! My collection of hand-blown, decorative dildos has to go? They take up two shelves in the living room! Very lovely, catching the light from the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. I paid a pretty penny for them, too. Great conversation starter - not sure why I wouldn’t want to talk to all my guests…

Huge Polish community here in Buffalo - paczki are everywhere, every store, sometimes even seen walking down the street (I swear, they ARE sentient and mobile but essentially harmless because if they start shit with you, you just eat them.) But here’s the truth no one will admit: they’re donuts. Hey, look - delicious…

Damn - desperate for a Sunday post, I guess. They should just give you the day off. Honestly, paper towels could get wet and dirty? Kind of thinking anyone who had this problem once hasn’t done it again. And, hey, folks - did you know that storing your light bulbs in certain spots could cause them to break? It’s true.…

While I’m not in favor of banning books, I AM in favor of fully accurate reporting. Which this is not.

Yeah, it’s not forgetting. It’s that these things are part of “the big clean”, which you do as time allows, a few times a year, likely a room at a time. It’s not a matter of “oh, la-di-da, I’m cleaning the top of my stove, I have an extra two hours to clean the drawer, the range hood and beneath it, and may as well…

Sure, I guess. But all that constant nuking and renuking and checking and the taking it out and putting it back in and adding as needed - ugh. Why? Better cover it well or you’ll be in microwave cleaning hell after.

LJS has been gone from my area for a long time now. Miss it. Nope, don’t care that it’s a lot of oil. No one would suggest eating it often but now and then, it’s freaking delicious. Zero fast food fish places here. Blows.

1) So. This is a thing now. Ugh.

The article says “SURGERY”. If under 18 can’t have surgery, why is it mentioned? 

All good advice, though essentially a lot of it boils down to “avoid obviously dangerous drivers and be aware of conditions.” I hit black ice once - spun 360 to face the direction I was going, lucky no one else nearby. No weather warnings about freezing surfaces, just bad luck. Sudden brake failure - pretty rare, but…

Been there, and that’s one of the worst, should have been mentioned - it’s more likely than sudden brake failure. Happened to me late at night, in another state, fortunately right at an exit. I had just enough momentum to get off the highway and cruise right into a motel parking lot, safely stop and call AAA. Very…

OK, some of this shit is getting nuts. Powder your hair? Sprinkle on your sheets to prevent sweating - uh... you’ll wake up in a caked on crust of dried powder and perspiration. And you want to breathe that shit in? Come on, now. Seriously. Stop it.

Tangentially related - “Too Much Tuna” is a bit I do often for my dog. Yeah, my dog. I can do the Kroll voice: “It’s entirely too much tuna! How are we gonna eat it all? We’re gonna get sick.” Look, it’s something stupid that stuck in my head and I enjoy putting on little skits for the dog. She thinks I’m nuts. She’s…

Phew! I’m thankful I’ve got the go-ahead to eat as much tuna as I can possibly shovel in! This is a finite amount. Because it’s tuna. Tuna is once-every-two-weeks kind of sandwich filling. But should I get a deep craving for more and more tuna, I’m glad to know the green light is burning bright for me.

Red flags, everyone! Red flags! Because you need an itemized list to figure out what the fuck you’re doing and what the other person is doing, I guess. And, hey, you can adopt as your very own a trendy, new made up buzz word: “situationship”. Won’t that be fun for you? Then you can say “we need to talk” and that,…

Eating Jesus is popular among Catholics but he’s a safe and rapidly dissolving cracker by then. Tasty with some wine, I’ve heard. But shoving an inedible plastic Christ into a cake that - let’s be honest - is nothing to write home about - do we really need this? Having no particular affinity for Jesus, I’d like my…

An entire second article about disinfecting things, but this one focuses on one object. Could have been included with the other article. But whatever. So, a demonstration about cross contamination, using a harmless virus but... be afraid! It COULD be a very harmful virus such as... well, I don’t know. No one is…

Yeah, let’s be sure we have no natural immunity to anything anymore. This is some OCD freak out bullshit. With the exception of garbage cans that smell, there is no reason to go insane like this. Every button, handle, every item you ever touch - get lost. And to what end? It will be covered in bacteria again in no…