People apparently aren’t aware that OVEN CLEANER will demolish stove top grime in a few minutes. It’s perfectly safe for the top of the range. Oh, no! But the chemicals! Get the fume-free and shut up. Wear gloves. Spray it on. Let it sit. Wipe it down. Include a steel wool scrub if there’s really tough spots - makes…

Well, thanks - that answered the one question I didn’t know, for which Twitter fools provided incorrect responses: states can nullify existing marriages if performed in that state. People were certain that can’t happen. I figured it could. And it will. Cool, I guess, that you can drive to another state, get married…

Get them marijuana.

Sure, this won’t cost much. And apartment dwellers will easily be able to get permission from the owner to add soundproof panels - no sweat. Uh-huh.

Fingers crossed I receive a delightful gift basket adorned with sprigs of aromatic dried herbs. I’d like my new tech device with lethal lithium ion batteries presented to me in a way that is sustainable. I guess.

I vehemently disagree with several choices here but I also very much agree on a few others. I would like to argue about television preferences on the internet with strangers now.

Well, here’s a “solution” looking for a problem that doesn’t exist. And... uh... who uses de-icer before shoveling? How’s that going to get on your lawn? Don’t pile the snow on your lawn? Where should we put it, on the roof? Every lawn in town is buried under mega piles of snow for at least several weeks in mid-winter…

Can we just agree that every hack on TikTok is pure shit and be done with it?

Nope. Not using the soap scraps that have washed my testicles for anything else.

Seems bizarre that they still sell incandescent lights at all. LED are far superior in every way and cost the same or just a few pennies more. I had tons of old incandescent lights stored in the basement, tossed them all out.

Plastic bags banned in New York - many cashiers will tell you that they won’t pack your items or touch your vile, filthy bags. No kidding. Dollar Tree has several clerks who do this - must be a thing management allows. Giving someone your bags if they are filled with something and unused - fine. Giving a used bag -…

Zero probability that cling wrap will remain tight and neat - it’s gonna come loose and you’ll open your fridge to flapping wrapping. But say you do it anyway. No more sliding things into place, that’s for sure. You’ll need to lift every item to put it in the fridge and take it out. What? No big deal? Think about it.…

I must reject those zone numbers. No reason. Simply not allowing anyone else to zone my house according to their numbers. A lot of nerve - zoning us. Pffft.

Half the article struggles to overcome the ridiculous headline. It’s not really gaslighting at all. But, you know, keep it trendy, make it edgy. Or whatever.

Donating anything at all is terrific - do it. I am nearly done cleaning house - and basement and garage and every closet, drawer and shelf I have - of everything I no longer need or want. Gave tons to local charitable organizations. But where I live, we can put out anything at the curb, anytime, except tires and…

Semantics Douche (me) says: “If you’re using a Swiffer, it’s ALL still swiffering.”

Just do a gift card. Please. For the love of all that is holy. Don’t get anyone fruit shaped grocery bags or... well, ANY of that crap. Cookbook? 42% of the internet is recipes. Honestly, this is all kind of insulting stuff. 

On the Chocolate Orange train with a cherry cordial caboose. Let’s not be ridiculous. And - get this - you can find blueberry cordials if you get lucky. Huge-ass blueberry in there, one of those mutant effers. Delicious. 

Pretty sure metrosexuals aren’t a thing anymore. 

So, for the guys - you might be sore from thrusting. You know precisely why. You love the reminder of the hot sex you had the day after. You’re fine, you don’t care.