The five bucks saved after all that effort will buy... another gallon of gas, I guess.

You can’t cut the star out of the paper - they have examples posted that show what does not constitute a win and ONLY doing it the near-impossible way is acceptable.

Just in case anyone doesn’t know what a SCHOOL SHOOTING is...

Never in my life have I experienced mold in my washer. Just wanted to say that.

If you could receive a million dollars from an organization with the stipulation that it’s likely your cash gift would result in the murder of children, would you take the money?

Wow, not much by way of suggestions here but no worries - we can just buy new sponges at the dollar store. For a dollar. Two for a dollar, in fact. OK, $1.25 now.

Don’t touch the eggs with your vile, filthy fingers, which are covered in germies from the shopping cart handle and everything else on planet earth that you’ve been stroking prior to your arrival at the egg cooler. Seriously. Gross, dude. Acceptable behavior: you look at the eggs for cracks and that’s ALL. Get another…

Basil is foolproof. Plant a few. It will take off almost instantly. I suppose you’d want to wait the five minutes before it’s doubled in size before cutting half of it off but basil, baby, she don’t really care. You’ll have too much of it. Hang bundles upside down to dry it if you want. If you fail at basil, we need…

“Lovebirds”? Really? You went there, huh? Cringeworthy, but so is AOC, so OK.

Well, sure, go for it, just say goodbye to your clothes: you WILL never accomplish any task with bleach without destroying your clothes. Recommend nude bleaching. Your neighbors will understand when you’re spraying the sidewalk cracks to eliminate the weeds. 

Just offer me pizza or a blowjob or both. Easy.

Hell, no. They can find someone else. 

Test to treat. This is why the drug isn’t going to be much help. We can’t even get millions of people to get their third shot or get their kids dosed. We’re supposed to find a test to treat center when we’ve got just 5 days from the start of symptoms that could be so mild as to not be noticeable at all. Very few are…

Rarely need to wear a tie - or want to. But when there’s an occasion, damn I look fucking hot with a great jewel tone (for older men, pick a jewel tone) tie that goes great with a vibrant shirt.

Well, yeah, kind of an anticlimactic reveal at the end there... I never thought of anything else other than asking how to pronounce a name if it’s unusual.

If they have directed you to the city, then contact the city. Unfortunately, the only option is to remove the tree. Two of my neighbors cut down gorgeous, 100+ year old trees for similar issue. I hate seeing healthy trees killed but understand sometimes there’s no other choice. Whether or not you pay for it all…

That would be 8.

How about you cancel your internet connection and buy an air conditioner with the savings? Honestly, only the poorest of the dirt poor can’t afford a window unit these days. And, an even better option for them, which you really should have mentioned, is that many local municipalities have programs that will get them…

Alternately, you could leave them the hell alone, give them a Flintstone’s vitamin and stop making it into an issue that will get the kid to despise dinnertime - despite a “study” in the Netherlands. Moreover, how about doing what my mom did - tell the kid you’d love it if they would just TRY something and promise…

Dear god I don’t believe in, please stop with the “cis” crap. Almost the entire planet is very happy with their gender. There’s just no need to specify. We can talk appropriately about trans people without the repetitive pander of “cis”, which is really saying this: “Oh, honey, we have a label, too! Don’t you worry,…