I have several edible flowers in my garden every season. I’ve tried them all. They’re all rather lousy. But it’s fun to shove a marigold in your mouth - once. After you’ve done it, well, you’re done.

Yeah, so, this is mostly about plopping an entire watermelon in the fridge for storage. No one is doing that. See, even the small ones take up too much space.

Tell you what, folks - I use window cleaner for almost everything. I’ve been spraying it on wood for decades. Yes, wood. Provided you’re dusting and wipe it up right away, it’s never dulled or harmed a finish, plus it gets out deeper grime. Caveat: I do use a lemon oil or something similar a few times a year, too. But…

Not a lady. Yet puzzled at what type of restroom you have that forces you to expose your piece. No urinal dividers? You should mention that to HR. Seems uncivilized. Or do the men you work with typically go to piss and take a moment to show their penis to the other guys who happen to be around? “Yo, Bill from…

May here in the northeast sees the most rapid and vigorous grass growth. Leaving it unattended would result in a fine within 10 days, guaranteed. Birds going nuts gathering seeds, crapping all over neighbor’s homes, rats seeking refuge, not to mention the excruciating task of ultimately chopping down a forest.

Sure, we’ve all got the time to pick through yard debris and remove seeds and roots from the weeds - nothing to it, just set aside several hours each week - you all have time to spare, right? Same for that lovely, all natural sun-dried method - bonus: you get to look at weeds withering in the sun for up to three…

Ugh. THIS again. No one is shoving cotton swabs up to their ear drums, OK? We’re GETTING THE WATER OUT OF THE EAR CANAL AFTER A SHOWER. Which is a good thing. Swimmer’s ear, anyone? Enjoy it if you want. Oh, I know - put in ear plugs when you shower. Nope, no one is going to do that, either. Keep the same, old, tired…

A weekly bath as a suggestion? So that’s insane, let’s just try to ignore it. What’s this “even indoor dogs go out sometimes” crapola? Dogs go out 3 to 5 times a day, just a bit higher than “sometimes”, unless, of course, you have trained them to shit on pads in your living room, which would make YOU insane. (Cue the…

Begs the obvious question: can I cum on my tomatoes this year? 

You build me up for pure, juvenile, purple craptasticness and it’s only available at a convenience store I don’t have?

Based on the image that accompanies the article, one places a small desk somewhere and puts a computer on it. Trying to engage the reader by starting out waxing philosophical about existential change - good gravy. Most folks have a place to put their computer by now and if not, they ARE called LAPtops for a reason.

So, hey, gay dude here. Crass play happens with your underwear on. Slamming your naked penis in your “buddy’s” face is seriously wannabe gay. Which I’m fine with but holy fuck - he has no clue how to properly fuck a face. Maybe when the camera operator left the room he showed more tenderness. But, hey, a rough face…

Yeppers, this is all magnificent bullshit. Agree with “no such thing” - all people who aren’t sociopaths, psychopaths or narcissists (and a few other delightful personality disorders) FEEL for other people. A “hyper sensitive” child is either autistic, just a little asshole (Larry David said it first) or a perfectly…

They’re all bad, on this no one will disagree. Cohabitants like centipedes in the basement - well, that’s life, and there’s RAID, so, carry on. Infestations of anything, fuck no. Had bees in the eaves, fun to say, admittedly, not fun to hear, not fun to work in the garden nearby. Took a pro two attempts to eradicate…

Debate the 30% of religious scum who want to control women’s bodies? What the fuck for?

So, the answer to the headline of WHY experts think fast food will go meatless is... they won’t.

Oh, my god.

On the list of Top 10,000 Things to Worry About in America Right Now, this just misses the cut, coming in at 11, 207.

Good luck, but yeah, the best you can probably do is to keep it to a minimum. After bloom, it get my peonies every year. Spraying down the plant helps, but you need to do it every couple days when you water - once a week won’t be enough. Neem oil - not too effective. Oddly, I never had it spread to any other plants.

There’s nothing to argue about - we retain the best wings, period. The link provided to make them at home - laughable. Brining wings with herbs - yeah, we don’t do that.