Not even close to how we make them. My family knew the creators of Buffalo wings, Frank and Theresa. I have the recipe, but for one ingredient they wouldn’t reveal. Still, they’re genuine Buffalo wings. Brining? With herbs? Get outta here. Oven baked? Please.

While I’d agree that these types of things are soul killers, so is work itself.

A washer off balance can be an early sign that your motor coupling is getting ready to break. It’s an easy repair. The part is ten bucks. I noticed my machine bouncing around, thought it might just be an unbalanced load but it happened next three washes - then the coupling cracked. As we do these days, I diagnosed the…

Some of these are much too large for a windowbox. Hydrangea? Hosta? Astilbe? They’re also perennials - a waste in a temporary, cramped container like that. You could transfer them to the ground in fall but it’s not the best time to do that, plus extra work. They’d be weak and stressed from tightly packed roots and…

Being an adult to the point of greying hair and, well, not much hair left (though I really do rock the buzz cut), I don’t use TikTok and will never participate in any internet “challenge”. But I will quickly post a warning about kefir.

While I don’t joke with a server unless, of course, it’s a bit of brilliant repartee that I know is appreciated (eye roll), and while most of us do, in fact, appreciate their hard work and are respectful, with only a few idiots doing rotten shit that goes viral - a server KNOWS what they have to deal with - it’s part…

You poor straight folks. I honestly feel bad that you go though any of this crap. Gay “dating apps” work like this: “Hey. Got a dick pic?” Dick pic shows up. “I can be there in twenty minutes.” Knock on door.

Hooray, another formula to give you stress from some doofus that’s making the rounds online. To be eagerly adopted by two millennials in Berkeley for a solid three days. Cool.

Mom wants you all to leave her the eff alone and let her sleep in. Promise.

I only get drive thru to take home and would never, ever eat in the vehicle, unless I’m on a road trip, in which case I pull into the lot. No “fries on the fly” here.

There isn’t one thing you can feed a kid that they won’t make a mess out of.

Weed fabric - a SLIGHT help, for a couple years, until it breaks down. And when it’s working, it only reduces weeds by a small degree. So not worth the mega effort putting it in.

Nope, the all male cast in drag will NOT be deemed offensive now. OK, maybe three morons on Twitter. And, honestly, even though I’m a gay liberal, I’ve had it with people not being able to laugh at themselves and others in a good-natured, friendly way that celebrates our differences. Nearly all of the “outrage” is…

Good gravy. Let’s get rid of Mother’s Day, too, and just be nice to our moms all year. What? Huh? Why does observing a manufactured day of recognition mean your boss is treating you like crap the rest of the year? That’s a different issue entirely. Enough of THIS type of garbage instead. And, yeah, good luck with the…

Well, if you need to learn this at any stage of life after age 13 - I feel bad for ya.

If it’s Star Trek, I’m in, regardless of what the internet tells me to think about it. Could use a little less gay stuff in Discovery, though - and I’m gay. It’s just... well, it’s a lot of gay. Or genderless. Or whatever. I don’t know. Just fuck the aliens. Anyway, my only issue with pre-Trek sort of shit is that…

Nuts. Period. End of story. 

Headlight restoration with toothpaste! Yeah, please. Never gonna happen. The foggy film is deteriorated plastic coating and you need serious scrubbing power to get that off. Even using the kits is difficult, but they actually work. Nail polish remover, also BS, unless every bit of plastic coating is gone, gone, gone.…

Thankfully, a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. I was getting worried. It’s been about ten minutes since Lifehacker created an issue out of something no one gives a shit about. 

But how will we cook our salmon?