Yeah, uh... kind of thinking the fed has some priority issues going on right now. SOTU might not be the place to talk about restaurants when people are being slaughtered.

Who else read it as “self serve tampons”? I can’t be the only one.

It’s “personal preference” but headline screams “you SHOULD stop rinsing.”

So. Shirtless cowboy dudes wearing chap and more homoerotic imagery? Well, I’m down for that. But other guys don’t have to like it - straight guys, for example. Should I be offended by their opinions? Because I’m not. I have no affinity for Sam Elliot - eh, whatever. His statements are not shocking, offensive or…

This is something I’ve wondered, yet never wondered it at a time when I’m incentivized to Google it, so, cool, thanks. But a very, very strong suggestion: please don’t ever use the word “chowed” again. The military can chow, because that’s traditional parlance. Dogs can chow. Any farm animals that have food available…

What is it? Ridiculous. Why do people do it? They are brainwashed robots. Where can you get it done? Your local pedophile priest hotel. 

FFS. Just talk to kids in plain English - cowards. Or Spanish. Or whatever the fuck you speak. Hiding behind metaphors is bullshit. 

Jeopardy! is what to watch while I eat, followed by... whatever. Like most people, I DVR TV so Jeopardy! is always ready. Hell, the dog knows the theme music and hurries in for dinnertime when she hears it. Weekends, with no Jeopardy!, I’ll just go to any show I don’t have to look at too much in case I miss something…

Interesting. Usually I’m the one who shits on most of these tips, but it looks like others got to it first. In this case, however, I’m intrigued to see what glycerin does for fridge crud. Not that I have that. No. Not me.

Apparently someone didn’t notice that the meat section has plastic bags to put over the meat just like the produce section has plastic bags. Meat section also frequently has paper towels available. Because, you know, this is how it’s been forever. And good lord, racing through the store in order of “spoilage” - beyond…

I snack as my heart wills it to be, no social media influence for me.

Feel free to cat call me. I need the ego boost. My response would be: “Yeah, you LIKE this fat belly, don’t you, big guy? Well, you’re never gonna get it!” (Unless he’s hot, in which case I give him my number and tell him to text.) 

You don’t have to order ahead here - they’re everywhere. Large Polish community on the east side but the paczki make their way to stores all over. And the pronunciation is on the box to boot. The only bummer is the blueberry sells out fast, so I guess you could order those if you needed to, but, hey, I’m not turning…

Yeah, uh, it’s their job - I really don’t care if they like my order or not. Goes for anyone in any job who doesn’t realize that dealing with customers is part of life, part of work. Yep, some customers are utter assholes. And then they leave. And you keep working. If workers feel most customers are something they…

Well, OK, fine. I guess. But I’m gonna pass on aromas of any sort while sleeping, not going to lotion my body (I mean, I need a LOT of lotion to cover the square footage here) - also, lotion: ick. Sticking with my microfiber sheets - zero wrinkles and they even feel sexy. A beddy-bye routine is more or less out of…

Bath pillow - yuck X 1,000. Laying in the tub with or without a bath pillow - also yuck. 

The USDA has plenty of stupid advice for Americans. By all means, Google yourself silly and choose your favorites - like the food pyramid, perhaps. But, oh, well, they’re intentions are good - sort of. Butter can sit out for a long time. Two days is ridiculous. Panic time! Bacteria gonna kill you after two days, you…

Every thin mint cookie in every single store tastes exactly like the real deal. Walmart, less than two bucks, for example. Sure, you could punch up a cracker (ick), but... you know... just buy some.

Good luck with this. Most don’t answer and when they do, it’s exactly what you’d expect, a form letter response, oh, we’re so sorry you’re having trouble finding X, we’re working on it, meanwhile, fuck off, global supply chain issues, we hope to blah blah and by the way, did we mention fuck off?

If you need a joint rolling video - shame on you. This is a life skill that is learned at 16 - and you know it. It’s like being able do laundry, make your bed, tie your shoes and put a fucking sandwich together. I’ve never heard of such nonsense as earning the first hit for being the joint roller - grow up. It hardly…