The first version was so depressing and deadly dull that I can’t imagine anyone wanting to suffer through more. 

Well, that’s scraping the bottom of the barrel for a story. Must suck when they put this kind of junk on you desk to be written up. No one is buying armless furniture, no one is facing any sort of confusion about getting a couch or a sofa, it’s semantics, it won’t affect searches and no interior designer is going to…

The DeSantis beast is following the Trump playbook, AKA the New GOP Cult Playbook - be as offensive as possible at the most inappropriate time and - bonus! - if you can make “offensive” into pure cruelty and evil for the sake of pure cruelty and evil, do it!

Trimming and shaping facial hair is a male life skill that every dude who has facial hair MUST master on his own. Deep shame upon all who cannot.

Here’s what this guy does regarding his lawn: NOTHING.

Gay dude here. Yeah, uh, you don’t need to do this stuff. And honestly, a little bit of it is kind of creepy. Have you SEEN a gay pride parade? That’s a highly sexualized environment for the kiddies. Don’t even with the crap that your kids need to be exposed to men in gold sequined speedos gyrating and pumping on…

Knock it off with the headline trying to induce liberal outrage and shock - hell, you can do that just by insulting a vegan. I get it - you’re trying to be cute. “Oh, you won’t die from the virus but a WV resident is gonna shoot you with their free gun.”

The band aid is just for that level of ridiculous protection in the ten million to one shot that someone gets an infection at the site. The first shot, the nurse drew a smiley face on mine. I put in my date book. It was cute. The second shot, no artistic inspiration from the nurse, alas.

I get half a dozen daily. They are blatantly obvious. I especially enjoy the ones who think I just might download an ISO file or an EXE.

The headline should read WHERE, not WHEN. Because - and I dare anyone to find a single internet eclipse article, sun or moon, that proves me wrong - every story about the next eclipse doesn’t break the news that you will not be seeing it, or will get the shitty version of it, until 19 paragraphs in.

Eh. Losing a kid or two will save you some money in the long run but I guess if you love them or whatever, you could also just write all the pertinent information directly on their foreheads. Or consider a tattoo, though you’d need to amend it accordingly if you move or change your phone number. Thank heavens for Tik…

Calendula: oh, yes - you’ll get seedlings fast and flowers that ultimately go through the first couple frosts. Be cautious where you plant them, though. They’ll self-seed like crazy and spread with the breeze. They’re worth tidying up after but you’ll never get all the seeds from the dead flower heads fast enough to…

Here’s the thing: the unvaccinated are only putting other unvaccinated people at risk. And you know it. The vaccines are at the very top of the list for the most effective ever created in human history. Again, my phrase of the summer is: “If you are vaccinated, it’s over for YOU.” By September, you’ll see that this…

No one has made too many plans. Everyone enjoyed the opportunity provided by covid to avoid a shit-ton of people we really don’t like, but felt obligated to be around. We’re pretty much all just saying “so busy these days, catching up on stuff!” and the people we’re saying that to know that we’re full of shit and they…

Anyone interested in getting back with a person who ghosted them has got to be damn desperate and lacking self esteem. Absolutely nothing anyone could say would ever get me back on the line. Ignore this guy - goodbye.

Covid safety at the gym (where I will not be going) and everywhere else:

Honestly, blown away by the lack of photos, just like everyone else. Mega-fail here.

Gentle, careful, cautious - now let’s not “offend” anyone with questions or conversations... Hell, man - come on with this crap.

I have flowers to cut and bring inside from April through early November, so I’m doing it right. In addition to finding perennials that bloom at different times during the season, always get some annuals to give color while you wait for the rest of the garden to do it’s thing. Some perennials, like many coreopsis,…

That detailed description of your copious sweating is sure to get you a shit-ton of dates.