The fact that nobody asked a question like "Are you a doo doo head?" is a sure sign of the decline of our American society.

"Did you guys see how many treats I ate? I really think I did well!"

It's an obedience test more than an agility test. That being said, I'm team retriever all the way. She's just channeling her inner Patti Smith and doing whatever the fuck she wants.

He knows you can't eat a trophy.

I like the last few seconds when the dog looks back at the cone like "Can I eat that? I think I can eat that."

Frankly, the Golden is way smarter than the rest of them. There are a number of huge sausages just lying there, and no little treat or bit of play with one's owner is ever going to make up for just running past them.

Weird, every time I try to create a player named Fernando Torres the game freezes up and flies 12 feet to the left.

I guess when it comes to a black person trusting police, it really does take a leap of faith.

Funny thing is, pretty much every time a Getty photographer goes to a Lakers game, there's a new batch of photos of Kobe lookin' sad.

So let me get this straight. These people don't believe in evolution because it doesn't work like it does on the Pokemon cartoon?

Probably in the same gang as DeSean Jackson. Very disappointing.

That is not the look of a creature, who thinks it's among equals.

Andy Reid hates January and your fantasy team.

The fact that he considers mass-produced seasoning packets a "little known trick" is the cooking equivalent of his "little known coaching tactic" of screaming at people.

The best part of Nick Arcade were the poor saps who chose to play Ghouls n Ghosts.

Nah, it's bad. You're stupid.