If he’s not going this for the Guardian, get this man to Deadspin to liveblog the rest of the season. Hilarious stuff:

Who? Amir Khan?

It really would be. The author mentions 11-on-11 FIFA which was exactly that. Typically all 22 players would chase the ball in a huge shit show, just like your little brother’s Under-8 games.

But what’s Leslie’s take?

That cracked me up...really buried the lede in this article.

This clip is a perfect distillation of Cowherd. Conflation of two completely unrelated issues with little to no thought put into connecting them? Check. Overtly condescending tone while spouting stuff that makes literally no sense? Check. Not-even-subtle racism masquerading as bold truth-telling? Check.

Frankly, I just think one World Cup cycle is enough for all but the most successful of coaches. Ideas get stale, roster favorites get stale. Four years is a long time, and a new set of eyes will, in my opinion, almost always be warranted after a World Cup.

Bob Bradley literally got fired for less.

Yes and yes.

His casual racism should fit in quite nicely at Fox.

But is she hot enough to star in her own movie?

Actually, hitting high schoolers in the face makes me appreciate the boomerang a tiny bit more.

I think Boomerang is in the upcoming Suicide Squad movie.

Winslow looks fresh.

Do Knicks fans boo louder if Kaminsky or Porzingis is drafted?

This was the best, most hilarious part of the article:

You can call it dickishness or legalese; I actually think it is just common sense. I can see how damaging a referee’s personal property may in some instances be considered assault or “physical violence.” I actually think it’s “clear-cut as fuck” that ripping a notepad doesn’t rise to that level.

No, it is not clear to me that “physical violence” includes tearing up a notepad on the ground.

It’s actually a little bewildering me that this website decries the media for its hyperbole in regards to every other sport and every other league, but engages in the exact same clickbaiting when it comes to MLS.

Except that language regarding “physical violence” is from the same section quoted. So a reasonable interpretation of that section is, no, not making shit up.