When I started reading this story I was on the toilet, but I found it so raw and edgy that I fell off the toilet and shit myself. Then, laying on the floor in a puddle of Christmas shit, I took a selfie. I then made that shit selfie the wallpaper on my phone and computer. Cuz I'm twisted and dark, just like Jared Leto.

Nobody’s perfect.

Friendly reminder: No one on this planet or any other gives .01% of a fuck about how this affects your fantasy team.

This made me imagine CTE as a physical object that can be wrapped like a Christmas present and given to someone.

This is unacceptable by Carolina. Trash-talk is fine, but once the baseball bats are introduced it becomes a blatant act of WAR.

ODB is a big baby, jesus.

Ohhhh the hott taykes are going to be piping!

You guys are high. I think you need to listen to it again. I loved the Resistance’s theme (perhaps Poe ‘s theme). Bad? What part struck you as being bad?

That goddamn scene in Jabba’s palace...

Mine was a quasi-hookup, but bear with me. These dudes who lived together in a house while attending college were close-knit so they had a “post-Christmas” in February, in one of the dudes’ ranch in the countryside. I was invited by my BFF, one of the dudes’ girlfriends, and I was newly single, so I went. There was…

Papelbon’s right, you know. Doesn’t seem very fair that he should get in trouble when there’s 25 guys in that dugout who choked.

I mean this is a terrible call. The most horseshit part about it though is that the refs didn’t even call the offsides on a specific UNC player. It was literally called on no one.

Oh man, I feel really bad for the Patriots.

What the fuck is this article? Whose retarded cousin needed a job?

Does that include times where they had a chance to win in the final minute/play and didn’t convert? - If not, that # goes up even higher.

“Hi. I’m Sarah McLachlan. Will you be an angel for a helpless Browns fan? Everyday innocent Browns fans are abused and neglected, and they’re crying out for help. Please, call the number on your screen. For just $18 a month, you can help rescue these animals from their abusers.”

Posted this on the Jambaroo yesterday, but wanted to reiterate, because it’s truly remarkable. I heard this on my local sports talk station, so I have not done this research myself:

As a Lions fan, the silver lining here is that I didn't piss myself after I drank to excess trying to fall asleep last night.