as a Lions fan, I simultaneously cringe at and applaud this comment.

It’d be hard for the Patriots to get proper retribution, since the Jets don’t have an official mascot,

Does the streaming service also only work in my dentist’s office? 

Great. Last time someone on the Jets blew up a Patriots mascot we got 18 fucking years of Tom Brady....

It used to be common for goalies to build these snow walls on the sides of the posts (and then squirt them with water to help solidify them) to help stop wrap-around attempts or passes from behind the net. But now the usually sexist “fun bunches” come out during stoppages and shovel all of that away. 

*tries to simultaneously hiccup and cough*

Cocaine’s a helluva drug

“We’ll have so much food. The fastest food. Many people are saying it’s actually good for you. Drink Brawndo. It’s what plants crave! “

I remember a similar feeling when you signed Scherzer away from us.

Always figured the Phillies were just going to wait for Mike Trout to become a UFA in 2 years and make the big splash with the local kid. Signing Harper would all but eliminate that from happening. 

And there isn’t an unappealing Super Bowl permutation in the bunch.

Funny, one would think Bezos would be more attracted to an...ummmm....uhhhh...”Amazon” type??

Not even one pun about her career circling the drain? C’mon Redford, it’s like you’re not even TRYING.

yeah, that guy definitely has a collection of human hair somewhere. 

What about the warmth of Marchman’s bad food takes? 

I have a cat, a normal sized domestic short-hair that for whatever reason when he sits in your lap you are unable to move. It’s like fucking Thor himself put mjolnir in your lap and you are not worthy. So, so not worthy.

Breaking News: Giants sign Eli Manning to 1 year contract extension

who could sit out all of next season and still be the first overall pick in the 2021 NFL Draft.

Please. You’re going to need a lot more “No Senor’s” than that if you’re ever going to compete with me on Latino speed-dating night.

Same here, Late Feb/Early March every year we get the hell out of the Northeast and go down to Florida for 8-10 days. It helps keeps you sane.