A Peloton bike? But she doesnt even live in a pied-à-terre!!

Deadspin has been a part of my life for 13 years,which is longer than any of my 3 kids have been alive.

Christ. I’m too depressed to even make a dick joke.

The omission of Sour Patch Kids from this list is a travesty on the level of putting auto-play video ads on every fucking page of your website.

If Bryce doesn’t make the Hall, there’ll be 50 shithead Nats fans camped outside his house and taunting him for it until they die.

and for the first time today, the fucking Farmers Insurance ad isn’t the most annoying video on the page. 

I bought two carts of Alaskan Thunder Fuck

Five groups of Guys, which is somehow an entirely different method of sorting than the five phases of Guys that will be drafted.

It’s “circular logic” to say that beating a group of teams that are a combined 4-16 doesn’t prove you’re good?

They’ll always be Team Walgreen’s to me

Amazing

Beating the current versions of the Jets, Giants, Bengals. and Titans doesnt give you much street cred

He’s literally famous (infamous?) for being a Nats fan, and accruing massive debt from buying Nats season tickets.

With Wednesday’s victory, the Cardinals’ strange and brief tenure as the lesser of two evils in a series has thankfully come to a close

and even the worst teams win a third of their games.

played the foil to Jerry West’s Batman.

I have never wanted a place to exist as much as I want “Titty City” to exist. 

Whoa, 3 sakes at a dinner for one on a Tuesday? That’s not covered by per diem!

Is that cheating if it’s under the guise of what was originally intended? Free market system for talent isn’t originally intended.

It’s a me, Pedo!