Dr. Teeth is the latest victim of the opioid epidemic. 

In Reeves’ day they were likely eating them hard-boiled, which would mean much less volume, but WAY more gross.

There’s some pretty convincing evidence that God’s been asleep at the wheel since sometime in late 2016. 

*fist pump*

That conception marks the only time Mathews was on any end of a completion in the last 2 years.

Was he swimming in the fucking pool from Cocoon?

THIS GUY. Russ Dickson. I call him “Shock Top” because he is now owned by Bud.

Arizona going to Houston/Kansas City and then moving into the Central Division is a fairly simple solution.  

“So in summary, we’ll play both Mariota or Gabbert as the situation and scenario calls for.”

He was on the fast path to drinking himself to death (a case of beer a day!) or just outright committing suicide. Literally anything else is objectively “better” than that no matter how you choose to interpret that.

Usually thoughts of suicide only come AFTER playing goal for the Islanders.

I believe Hulk Hogan’s dick was a co-plaintiff

Wait, can we include the part about how the Sens are petty shitheads who wouldnt deal Karlsson in conference for reasons?? and even went as far as to poison pill the Sharks so they didn’t pull another “Mike Hoffman flip.”

Don’t forget

My FEELINGS don’t care about your FACTS!!

This guy totally wears one of those “Watch Out! I speak my mind, and if you don’t like it then too bad!” t-shirts

There’s a Mackenzie Phillips joke in here somewhere but I don’t want to make it because I someday want to direct a Guardians of the Galaxy sequel.

Believe in Something. Even when he can’t complete anything.

We havent seen something that large smashed on a court since Keon Clark retired