But what are those big scary appendages on the spider? It’s the chelicerae, which are the spider’s mouth and are used to transfer sperm into the female spider’s gonopore, which is its reproductive tract.

OBJ playing for the Giants is like finding a random candy sprinkle on your store-brand vanilla wafer.

And there’s your pro-eugenics argument, right there.

They eventually go away and you get “Granpa muscles” which is basically just the ability simultaneously shit yourself while you have a boner.

Can we get the crack Deadspin investigative team to find out if Bartolo Colon was denied the use of “Big Sexy” for this?

Take away sports and Philadelphia is still a major northeastern metropolis. Pittsburgh is a pseudo-Midwest version of Charlotte.

Any time I see this I always picture him giving McConaughey’s speech from A Time To Kill

You’re telling me fans would rather you lose and put a worse player out there...

well the high five part rules out you being gay. Other than that, not much.

Orbit looks like if Oscar The Grouch had an extra chromosome.

Well by Trump’s standards, anything that’s less than 75% gold lamé is a “dump.”

Meanwhile, Ted Nugent gets invited to the White House...

Better to burnout, than fade awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy...

I feel like the HoF plaque is yelling at me.

I miss the days when I just ASSUMED most NFL players were idiots.

Christ, Christie even makes Wisconsinites look thin by comparison.

Well, continue to be willfully ignorant then I guess. Lovely chatting with you.

Well, you apparently don’t understand the concept of “facts” like many in the country these days, as the West had a FAR better record against the East this year (42 games over .500), and did so for the 17th time in the last 18 years.

First off, I never said every team in the West was the Warriors, but if you’re going to deny that as a whole the Western Conference is far stronger than the East where FIVE teams with less than 50 wins made the playoffs last year, then you don’t exist in our current reality.

yeah, because playing the in the East versus playing in the West is the same fucking thing.