I think it’s entirely probable that he hears Tom Cruise’s voice telling him to do things. 

Well, the fascist one will have complete sentences and properly spelled words. The sentiments, however, will be identical. 

I cannot imagine a worse fate than having to grovel for the favor of Donald Trump. And the fact that these two are fighting over who gets to plant their lips on his orange ass is utterly sickening.

Good point. A sacrifice to the volcano god means nothing if she’s not actually there. 

But at least he could tell Uncle Vlad that he’s got some money coming on payday and please just give him a little more time to blackmail world leaders and he just knows he can get the rest soon ...

Eh, works both ways. 

That’s just crazy talk. 

The Nobel prize comes with a cash award of about $1.1 million. That would increase Trump’s net worth by about 30 percent. Grifter looking to score. 

She looks like my grandmother’s drapes. 

Eh, the directions don’t have to be detailed. Script the smarter ones, and just tell Meghan “at this point, you act like an ass.” Poor thing probably actually thinks she’s acting, rather than playing to type.

I meant Trump as a “celebrity” president. I don’t actually have a problem with calling Oprah a celebrity. She qualifies. 

We all talk about the MAGAs and their cognitive dissonance, but we never point out where they learned to disassociate related pieces of information. I think we’ve found the culprit. 

Safety first!

You have a loose definition of “celebrity” in regard to the current office holder but I still wholeheartedly endorse your position.

I would expect no less. 

This is the correct take. She doesn’t want to stand up in front of reporters and have to explain the crimes. You can also add to that the fact that she doesn’t want to have to try and parse/explain/justify Trump’s dementia babble.

+1 Steve Bannon

We honor your sacrifice. Provide detailed notes, please. 

Give us some more time to completely embarrass ourselves. We’re nurturing more Nazis as fast as we can. Some of them are apparently “very fine people.”

This is the correct take. People didn’t elect the “blue wave” so they could sit on their hands and watch Trump shit on the Constitution. They elected them to do their fucking jobs.