Trump social media: 63.5 million on Twitter, 14.3 million on Instagram

Username checks out. 

Many leaders are saying ...

You’re telling Noah about the flood. 

This doesn’t have nearly enough stars. 

Literature for the win. 

Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, where protagonist Gregor Sansa is transformed into a bug, is often considered to have emerged from Kafka’s severe self-esteem issues.

Actually, my first thought was why would any world leader voluntarily come to the U.S., where a significant portion of the populace is both deranged and heavily armed? 

Insanity has a right-wing bias. 

Yes. This is a business relationship. She got paid, and she’s expecting to get paid more. She’s not going to get paid as much as she thought, though. 

How do you get trained in proper seductive reasoning? Asking for a friend. 

This. I really like Warren, but if Biden is the candidate, I vote for Biden. Nor will I be embarrassed about it. Trump is a threat to this country and this planet, and there’s nothing wrong with voting against the worst choice. I wish more people had understood that in the last election.

Plus, they’re mostly Native, and therefore Trump doesn’t consider them “people.” 

Me: It’s B, right? The answer is B. I win!

But he wants to buy Greenland!

I had a similar experience of being bullied by a supervisor. After I was hired, our VP said something about me being “a good replacement” if this person ever left. That was it — it triggered this person’s severe insecurity complex, and the person came after me with a vengeance. It didn’t help that this person was…

Problem is, Trump is literally too stupid and arrogant to throw the question to another person. He’ll just keep bumbling along until somebody distracts him. If he could toss the question to someone on staff, he’d easily look 50% smarter immediately.

See, that’s just not fair. Maps have big words like “Azerbaijan” and “Djibouti” and “Uzbekistan” and “Greenland” that are probably all made-up places and don’t actually exist anyway. You can’t expect poor Donnie to thread that maze. He can’t even spell “hamburger” and that’s literally printed on the pieces of paper…

Yeah, Trump hasn’t ever been worth even $1 billion. He basically inherited about $413 million and screwed it all away. Even Kushner said once that Trump “didn’t have a lot of cash.” If not for Russian “investors” he’d be broke. 

Nah, she’s under contract. She’s stuck with Big Orange until that contract is up. Once it is, she’s out. Problem is, she thought Tangerine was rich. Joke’s on her — he’s not. Also, he’s got a long history of not paying his contractors.