Most creative elaboration on the English language yet...

Dude? There are at least two glaring errors in your FIRST paragraph. Stuff like that makes the average reader not bother reading the rest. You gotta proof your work, Mang.

Because NetFlix isnt the only thing you would stream from. 99% of the media I have is stored on a local server that has a SMB share on it. I need a streamer to play the stuff back on my TV, this is perfect for that.. (potentially).

I grew up in Portland and your jokes on Subaru landed to perfectly. Subaru owners are so sensitive because they know the stereotype is true, they should just embrace it.

Shaking my head at OP.

Doug, I drive a Forester in Denver. The remark about the XV Crosstek (CO bowl smokers) could not have landed better.

"Newsflash, Volkswagen: you aren't going to sell 800,000 units with a hardtop convertible and a hatchback that's shaped like a protractor."

This is a stellar, insightful, and hilarious article. Representative of the best that Jalopnik can deliver. Bravo.

Yeah, I'm first. I watched that movie when I was a kid and said way back then that the Beast was terrible and she should have married Gaston. I BASICALLY CALLED DIBS

I'm guessing he'll be on Ellen before Easter.

I didn't notice the first one was Madeleine and now I feel both cheated and amused.

If I wanted to see smut like this I'd be reading Deadspin. Or, jesus christ, GAWKER.

Same. What happened to feminism? This ain't it. This boobs.

Same. I thought this was a feminist blog.

Wow, Jezebel. So disappointed in you.

"Joe Clark "downloaded one or more instruction manuals from essentially every dishwasher manufacturer in existence [the above diagram is from a KitchenAid manual]... extracted just the pages or parts thereof that illustrate how to load the dishwasher, and assembled them on Flickr."

Meanwhile, the good cars – the ones you'd actually want – trade hands privately, offline, among two friends. If an ad for an excellent example of an unusual used car does reach the Internet, a cadre of interested buyers immediately calls the seller and a deal is struck that afternoon. It's a cutthroat place, the world…