X Factor? She’s on The Voice, that crappy facsimile trying to pretend looks don’t make any difference in thuh biz. Like Britpop would ever have happened if Dave Rowntree was the singer with Blur or Bonehead with Oasis.

I bet her poop smells just like mine, even on a solid gold lavvy.

An alleged unnamed source told me there’s allegedly nothing going on between Bobby and Maddie.

No one with sense or self-preservation wants that job.

You will never replace “load of arse.”

Shoulda knocked her up last year.

So you’ve seen this $100m?

Even Grannie Clarke is Team Longoria.

She’d better be or she’ll be paying for her own ring because I bet Calvin Harris has never been in the same zipcode as $500,000.

A friend called Thelonius Monk The Loneliest Monk.

Yeah, don’t forget to take my wallet with you. I’m guessing you’ll need to replace those bullets.

I only own two boxsets and Soap is one of them.

“Here we are again, the jangle of my ankle chain is the only sound I can hear when I’m here with you.” - Alisha’s Attic

Curses, I was using an elaborate system of mirrors and bedsheets to hide it.

Peanut B. needs to do what the royal corgis do: bark for a butler.

Shaggy and Scooby ate huge tower sandwiches and Shaggy was skinny as a rake. I am also skinny and like tower sandwiches.

If you don’t already own a copy, I must insist you order a copy of Labelle’s Nightbirds album immediately.

Oops. Careful out there.

“I think the most compelling thing about Hillary is that she will stop at nothing to achieve her end and that she views the public as plebeians easily seduced into believing her point of view”

I would like to submit for consideration to your series, “1941” and “Heaven’s Gate,” which curiously isn’t in Kris Kristofferon’s IMDB list. He should not be so ashamed of it.