When are we going to get some artists who stand up and say, “We’re musicians, people. The music is supposed to make pictures in your mind. Stop making the pictures for the listeners!”

Chris Morris FTW!

Vigilantes are why paediatricians get beaten up by Neanderthal mobs screaming, “Kill the paedo.”

As my dad would say, “Cheer up, Jaden, it might never happen.”

I’m over 6’ tall and that could never happen to me because no fucking way you’re getting me up there for anything.

Portrait mode videos? Fuck that shit.

It’s tough to take but, “An average of 71% of Ukip voters agree with five leftwing ideological statements, far above the Conservatives (43%) or even the Liberal Democrats (65%).” Most of them are trad old Labour voters. It’s impossible to stand up for the Greens, who are getting shafted, without also defending UKIP…

Haven’t we passed a million already? It certainly feels like it.

In my dream, the laws are passed but religious fundamentalists keep breaking them. The legal system has by then adopted their treasured principle of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. So they all have to have gay sex. It’s the law.

Plenty more where you come from. Not so many Kiwis in the world. It’s simple supply and demand.

It does but drinking seems to be a national pastime, which is odd when you consider how much we’re taxed on it.

We call it elevenses. Which is the best term.

What’s even more depressing is for the first time since the 80s, people seem to be ready for a proper left wing party. Even the Scottish National Party are starting to see an opportunity south of the border. Scottish Labour took Scotland for granted for too long and it’s weakened Labour as a whole.

It’s like our old money: 12 pennies in a shilling, 20 shillings in a pound. And going back even further, a guinea was 21 shillings. It made it harder for foreigners to tell when we were swindling them. At school, we had to do our multiplication tables up to 12.

My first thought was, “What if it turns out to be a German terrorist/bank robber?”

This story was just on the news here. So, you know, news.

Oh sure, it’s all good fun until the whineys start complaining about having to see this 8766 times:

Then there’s the 13th Duke of Winbourne...