Some of those phrases do show up elsewhere, so while she’s an impressive 16-year old to have even read such books, “Words by me” is not strictly 100% true.

I just want to say ABM: anybody but Murray.

Right before the cameras started rolling, McCann told her “Do it for real,” and so she did. “What you see in that fight is genuine connection of fist and undercarriage,” she said.

Just to clarify, Hugh Laurie is referencing Screaming Lord Sutch, founder of the Monster Raving Loony Party, which was inspired by a Monty Python sketch:

Not at; out of. Also known as taking the mick.

See, I responded, too. We truly are separated by the same language.

I was teasing. Or as we call it, taking the piss. Don’t go changin’.

OK, they were on “Popstars: the Rivals” but they’re not called The Pedants so I still love them.

The X Factor groups have a history of choosing lame names, except for Girls Aloud, who should have done better with you people.

So what? Trump is soft shite in a wet paper bag.

Why couldn’t it have been Gordon Ramsay? He’d have given Trump a Glesga kiss.

Dex: “Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler. He did a lot. But don’t we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned?”

Ed-209 for Sec of Def:

Is McCubbins paying his campaign staff?

And probably raised a veggie so roughage. A lot of roughage.

You said you wouldn’t respond and now you have. My faith in you is sorely shaken. Now I’m reappraising Affleck’s work. Maybe his extramaritals were method. Like all the greats.

Moot point because those shoes don’t go with the dress.

Messi can jump:

I was living in the USA in 1999 and my impression - which is very much a light sketch - was that US girls had taken to football (don’t make me call it soccer, to us there’s football and American football) because the boys had the other sports tied up and boys tended to go into baseball, basketball and American…

They’re great roach card. Also, I sent my ma an e-card once and I never want to see her have that look of disappointment in me ever again.