Mason jars, or jam jars as they’re known here, can never be cute, they will always be what extras from Deliverance drink bootleg moonshine from. And who wants those guys at their wedding?

do all first-world government agencies have some sort of orphan scouting program to outfit their super-secret spy programs?

Whatever happened to ethics in animal trick-cycling?

Surreal or just not of this world?

I could kiss you right now and I don’t have smoke breath.

I have this site and a glass of wine or two. And Wimbledon is on.

Yesh, nothing stops a screaming brat like waving a brick of bills in their whiney faces.

I’m a month into quit. Somebody once told me don’t replace it with another habit cos no habit’s going to be as rewarding. So that’s what I’m doing.

Seems like there should be a follow-up, “Yeah, well, closet maid is richer *and* more famous than you now.”

I’m not on Facebook.

She gets around.

She had no right. And her left is quite weak.

Oh, now you want calm.

Yeah, like the “one in-one out” every night doesn’t make it obvious.

Been there, too, and had to score for housemates so had more than “personal use“ and being in a car, more likely to get stopped. Which happened one night but it wasn’t the car they were looking for so I was lucky they didn’t pull me out and search me.

Well, that’s jolly decent of you to say.

A lot. They know they have youth academy teams but they don’t go to see them either.

Sure and why don’t we just put an airport in the Lake District? It’s not like Glastonbury was just on. Oh, it was, but why don’t you freaks just fuck on Stonehenge, too? Crap all over any semblance of not-what-you-like. I’ve been to the Forest of Dean and it is far too nice and peaceful. Go ahead and fuck it up. It’s…