Jim Carrey made me cry.

But how often do they talk about women like this? This is our turn. It’s our time! Magic Mike XXL is our time!

I lived in California for 2 years and a neighbour had an avocado tree so I was spoiled. Also, I’m not being that serious about it. I’ll have guac with sour - not mixed though - but I don’t get why people are so offended by peas. They’re the most inoffensive vegetable there is.

I think they might feel a sense of solidarity if you take down your pants.

I’m gonna post it again because it was the worst idea, then they added a flavour:

Heh, and how are you enjoying our humidity?

They don’t grow here. That’s what I said. They’re shipped in, like the tune for the sushi shops. Not fresh, not touching it. But homegrown peas are yum and don’t need sour cream to make them yum.

I almost wish Macca had just let Klein make them all penniless. Wings would’ve sold anyway.

It’s worse than haggis. We don’t even have avocados growing here, Obama. But that’s just the kind of world ignorance I’d expect from a US president. At least Trump’s been here and probably likes haggis.

There’s a distillery in the west of Scotland which uses geese as guard dogs. And the people are hard out there so they probably needed something tougher than German Shepherds.

“Most of the songs that are good, they happen in five minutes. I sit at the piano and it pours right out of me. It’s not until later that somebody mentions, “Ooh, that feels like ‘After the Dance,’ ” or something like that.”

I said the same about Roger Daltrey.

What if he likes peas with his guac?

It’s nice to think of it being brought crashing down by a little girl.

Screw you sun-drenched philistines and your sour cream-dependent mush.

I like to think she was giving him Blayne Eye:

It would have saved Roger Taylor and Brian May embarrassing themselves by trying to keep it alive.

Conversely, the only people I ever saw looking for a date in the unemployment centre were guys.

Face-grabbing has become standard in the game but it doesn’t get better than Rivaldo:

Face-grabbing has become standard in the game but it doesn’t get better than Rivaldo: