All male players should be allowed to wear fake eyelashes.

Jennifer Aniston admires the locks of Kate Moss

If it was here, the T would’ve been gone long ago.

I get irked at, “I’ll try and...” No, you’ll try to. You either try, or you do. I’m sure Yoda said that.

Skateboards are the new combover for men chasing their youth

Nobody loves yoghurt more than the Greeks and look at the mess they’re in.

Point of order: Nadia Almada won our Big Brother in 2004.

Memo to Kanye: get a guitar:

For ages here. I think it might’ve started during an episode of Neighbours.

Funnily enough, I know a muso who had this happen with his folks and it obviously messed him up, then he ended up messing up his own marriage in a very similar way.

I watched it, not knowing much about him but having seen an hour-long interview with Zane Lowe last week, which I really liked. So I was looking forward to it. I thought it was patchy, great as something new from the usual dull Big Rock Band but also probably not his best show. Then again, any band can be patchy so no…

I gave my sis the Spaced boxed set as a birthday gift but she didn’t get it so I wrote her out of my will.

Bear raises Florida reputation abroad by many %.

Ha, I almost quoted Bill Shankly’s, “Football is a simple game” but Lineker’s is probably more appropriate.

In a club tournament like the FA Cup, the big teams can meet each other from the 3rd round on, which makes it easier for underdogs to make the final and that’s what we call, “The magic of the cup.” It’s a shame for France but great for fans of the unseeded teams.

What is this, Kanye West’s World Cup? C’mon England, show those pattern-collared, fashion-fugly, jammy Germans how to keep it simple!

Yeah, it wouldn’t pass muster today.

It was part of our childhood when it was only available in cinemas: