Sounds great! “Excited delerium” is just the thing Florida needs to break out of its sleepy, boring life.

I was waiting for it!

Very few rapey minions, at least that I’ve seen.

I’ve never seen your work, but just from your description i can tell you are more talented than Prince. At the very least, you know craft. Prince does nothing a Photography 101 student couldn’t do.

Koons has more talent in his left pinky than Prince has in his whole body.

Rihanna’s next choice: This Sick Beat Magazine

I spent 13 years on the phones, and not one single time did someone get helped faster or better because s/he was a giant, loud dick. It’s literally the least productive thing you can do when calling any call center.

Gawker Media. Ask Nick what he’ll take.

Whatever the opposite of on fleek is, that is Travolta’s eyebrows.

Yes.

Fuckin’ breakups, how do they work?

My wife bought some hair removal stuff that warned against being used on the genitals or “breast nipples”, which led us to speculate on the locations of nipples you COULD use it on...

It’s the trashcan that gives away the whole phoney two-bit kabuki aspect of the whole thing.

Gawdammit, I knew that, too. Oh well!

I’m my own best friend

They’re matching donations up to $12.97, three nice, slightly used office chairs, and a fax machine.

Jezebel Jones? No... that sounds like a minor Blaxploitation franchise.

If I go into a restaurant called Twin Peaks, I want coffee, red drapes, creepy dwarfs, and waitresses carrying logs, not generic boobery.

I’m pretty sure we all know who will be starring in it...

Wrong side of the street?