Laughing. Too. Hard.

THERE ARE NO BIT PARTS WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR BITS

I want you to get a grant to make this business happen.

And maybe some of those goddamn jangly charms that seem to be very popular.

*high five* EXACTLY! We gotta stop being judgey judgersons because we are conditioned to judge women on their looks and the amount of effort it took them to achieve said looks by bullshit patriarchy!!

Hey, if you want your insides cut up by glitter, that’s your prerogative. Because I guarantee you won’t get all of it off before sex.

If he knew he had it...no one.

girl

I’m happy to see I am not alone.

This. My family doesn’t hug very much, especially not for greetings. When we do it’s hand on the shoulder, cheek kiss and out. My boyfriend’s mother thinks that I am broken in some way and every time I see her insists on a hug. I wish I could not resent her so very fucking much but it’s gotten to the point that I…

This! I come from a family of non-huggers but all of my friends, coworkers, the families of any guy I’ve ever been with—all huggers. I learned to BECOME a hugger because otherwise I feel super awkward whenever saying goodbye, but my instinct is still to linger in a hugger’s shadow while they’re hugging goodbye and…

Ugh, that absolutely sucks.

I’d settle for perpetual third wheel buddies with them. You hate my girlfriend, Nick and MegMeg? I broke up with her via text before the end of that sentence. Let’s go to the flea market and hit up a wine bar!

I nearly stood up at my desk in my open plan office to give you a standing ovation. BRAVO TO YOU times a squillion

LDS?

Thank you, that’s awesome.

This commenter seems like a trolly troll looking for something wrong in your story.

I was raised Assembly of God. This makes me want to gag so hard, even just hearing those words in that order is like sitting in that stupid room all over again. I love your tattoo that I haven't seen, and I hope that when I get one that you never see as well, you'll know it was in solidarity and not just copying.

God I’m sorry that’s terrible but your tattoo sounds amazing.

Oh my god.