A bunch of people stand around the Mewtwo stand, frantically battling it.

So sorry. 18 years is indeed a good run, but as you know, even the greatest life will not be an inoculation against grief. :(

1. He is racist.

“She was then home-schooled by the very woman she would go on to replace, the late housekeeper, Mrs. White.”

How do you know you don’t like the texture? ... unless you HAVE tried pasta!

The texture of the thing she’s never eaten weirds her out? How would she know?

She just barely fits in the 1/2+7 rule, which would peg his “lowest appropriate” age at 24.5. That said, I definitely think she has deliberately cultivated the “young woman” approach, whereas Hiddleston has been basking in the “I am a sexy and cultured bad guy” thing for the past few years (after the entire nerdy…

Get it, Dame Judi.

One day Jen is going to give birth to an elderly man and then all the doubters are going to look soooo stupid.

This makes me sooooo happy. I am a 46 year old suburban white father of four who’s very happy with life. But my daughter watches this shitbag show, and, Goddamn, I hate this woman.

You gotta admire his spunk, though.

Better:

The mental image that gave me...

Tom Cruise is leaving Scientology because he’s “so smitten” with an actress named Annabelle Wallis, his 31-year-old costar in the upcoming reboot of The Mummy.

I’m so tired of hearing about this “lifestyle.” If God wanted us to run, why are our asses so big and comfortable? Q.E.D.

Chicago. What godawful third-world backwater hellhole do you live in that they’re not?

wHAT A TWIST

Somewhere M. Night Shayamalamadingdong is crying because he didn’t think of it first.

So both of these twins were the evil one?