Your joke was funny and sometimes the internet makes me sad.

No, actually I didn't. That's the second time today. Damn, that sucks. My bad. I need a hiatus from the internet.

Good job trolling for people to argue with you about what is and is not trolling, dude.

She's here representing the late Mr. Redlegs. She doesn't appear in public very often, not since his horrific death.

I think the real trophy is the outstanding education each and every one of these student-athletes earn at their respective NCAA® institution of higher learning.

In all fairness, it's been over three years since Uggla really showed up anywhere near a baseball diamond...

In an alternate universe, Dan Tard is suspended for Uggliness

Jordan's record? I think maybe you should take a look at Bill Russell's career.

We've had a miscommunication and I believe we're on the same page.

If you're looking for dirt on Johnny Manziel, I'm pretty sure the Browns offensive line will help you out.

Or you could argue that every record that they have made has been a children's record

When a guy slides into home foaming like that, it gets you wondering what's up his butt.

Oh my god, so much good. I wrote a similarly long, similarly toned, similarly ignored comment. It doesn't matter that the Atlanta city thinks they're honoring the Native American people who were murdered in imperialist conquest. It's not like the Celtics or Vikings, names given to teams in areas where those groups…

But this does bring up another pressing issue: We need more teams named the Abraham Lincolns.

What a coincidence. The Pacers are changing their logo to the one from the Atari game E.T.

How can the Pacers possibly lose when the entire crowd is wearing the same color as them?

I've been playing ball all my life and it's not fun.

October 6, 1990; Columbia, Mo.:

After the bandwagon broke down, Tanya was killed by Redskins. Jason escaped by fording the Potomac River, and immediately died of the resulting dysentery.

Most of the claims relate to loss of consortium, as the resulting injury has kept him from screwing his patients.