Even the crusher will vomit it out.

some people called it the space gangster. some called it the cowboy of love.

Similar to selling anything on Craigslist, if I’m selling a snow blower for $650, and you offer me $200 CASH!!!, i’m simply going to ignore your email. It’s a waste of time, this is a person who won’t even meet you in the middle, and they obviously have unrealistic expectations.

It's safe to assume these people are fucking morons because they're acting like fucking morons. 

Just asking this is going to make me “automatically a racist” but why can some people say it without repercussion and some people say it and they get fired?

Found him a new sponsor:

Oh my so much damage committed by him saying that word, it was way worse than these news items /s

Of course there’s a sex tape...

I’m preemptively annoyed for his obituaries calling him a “Lion of the Senate”, but consoled by the fact that it’ll be his obituary.

Allow me to quote one of your esteemed writers Freddy Hernandez. The rotary engine sucks. An inherent design flaw means that it burns oil like your uncle’s ancient lawnmower with the grace of an armadillo in a washing machine. It’s also impossible to start reliably, if you turn it off before it’s fully warmed up,…

Thank you for remembering the first Shuttle flight. Usually every April 12th there are mentions of Gargarin’s flight (as there should be) but nothing about Shuttle. It was just bad luck that we didn’t launch on the 10th, as planned, but a minor glitch pushed us out till the 12th.

“Don’t try to wrap your brain around Diamond and Silk,” instructs University of Pennsylvania’s Anthea Butler. “They are what they are.”

When I saw the headline the first thing I thought was ‘oh I thought that bitch was already dead.’ What she did to the country, not just the 22 year old intern, the whole goddam USA, was disgusting. 

Bette Davis: “You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say the good. Joan Crawford is dead. Good.”

I could never rise to Monica Lewinsky’s level of magnanimity.

I was always taught not to speak ill of the dead. So i’ll end this comment here. 

Don’t let the door hit you in the coffin on the way out.

I am already prepared!