“And the Russian Women’s Team is invited to celebrate in my hotel room at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton.”

“And we’ll have their favorite food, which I understand is called a Royale with Cheese.”

All good points, but Rapinoe also celebrated a goal too much, so who’s really the bad one here?

At some point, there is no amount of money that can justify being a shell of your former self on a national stage.

“Oh, yeah? Watch this!” - Miguel Cabrera

Get a Roomba! Maybe you have a campaign credit card you could charge it to?

Trump: “She has nice boobs, like Hope Hicks, Melania and Ivanka.”

my reaction to the Dunc Hunt news

Congress is minor leagues. It takes a President to do both.

Look, you can have your spouse as a partner in your criminal conspiracy OR you can fuck around on them. Not both.

He is being blackballed from coaching in the NBA the same way that I am being blackballed from playing in the NBA.

Damn. I’ve had Blue Balls before, that was awful. Black Balls must be completely unbearable 

First time long time +1 - I’ll take my answer off the thread and give you another +1

Talk radio was a mistake.

Reporters are so soft now. I remember the days of Herbert McGoo, Joe Dribbler, Dick Frank, Johnny Johnson, Big Jim Pincus, Wally Habbermaster, and their ilk. They’d get a quote out of ty Cobb or honus Wagner if it meant a fight. If you thought you could throw McGoo out of the clubhouse he would patiently oblige and…

It’s okay, we all get a little upset when we don’t think our dongs measure up. 

NHL: “We’d like to invite you out to an awards show where you’ve been nominated to win an award because of your brave stance on coming forward about your mental illness, addictive personality, and alcohol abuse.”

If Kenan Thompson was actually Steve Harvey then I would like Steve Harvey

Could you be more specific?

Especially when you learn that Nermal had her passport taken away immediately and had to build a golf course there.

Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.