Evangelicalism is the best kind of Christianity, with maximum pious douchebaggery and minimum any of that hippy shit that the libtard fag Jesus kept whining about. 

Now I’m a cynical dipshit from DC, which I only add to provide context. I am constantly flabbergasted at how bad and dumb actions like this are rolled out. You want to gut public schools and award contracts to Halliburton to provide grade D meat where legally required? Sure, I’ll figure out how to justify it if you…

Sick and tired of reading about all these rich, old guys getting off. 

The proposed deferred prosecution agreement calls for completion of an education course about prostitution

Both had some “flexible” views on man-boy love as well.

“Wish I’d have thought of that.” - Mark Sanchez

To be fair, she wouldn’t let go of the phone.

This happens more than you'd think. More so among National League owners who refuse to employ designated hitters.

“See! A lonely man with pre-game jitters paying for a hand job isn’t so bad after all, is it?”

I heard Bryce Harper would have handed the ball to Marshawn Lynch.

UPDATE: The Phillies have traded Harper to the Golden State Warriors, who once blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals.

Good for Philly to have the longest and biggest thing again after Foles left town

Guys....Have I been playing bridge wrong this whole time? 

Borland was one of the few bright spots of the 2014 Niners. I’m really glad to see him being a voice for players and their families. 

“I could have told you, Tractor, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you”

“So bye bye Let’s Remember Some Guys”

How will they be able to criticize the next democratic president on ANYTHING after being so silent on Trump?

When a man who was raised by a Klansman, who had to agree to stop discriminating against minorities in his real estate business, who took out a full page ad in the New York Times calling for the execution of innocent black children, who rose to power on a platform of racism, xenophobia and Islamophobia, and who…

The breakroom in my office has community silverware that anyone can use.

Seriously, like a bunch of Superman characters.