Ugh.

It was Foghorn Leghorn, but I’m not sure I know what Colonel Sanders sounded like. Maybe a lot like Foghorn Leghorn. Not like Yosemite Sam, though.

We wish you were, too.

I’m 37, and he looks like he could be my dad.

Don’t know if it’s more telling that Priebus decribes the President as the punter, or that he know that Trump couldn’t even get the ball downed inside the 20.

Needs more black pudding.

Betteridge’s Law of Headlines in action!

They say bad publicity is better than no publicity. And it’s true, because I had never heard of this thing until last night, and now I’ve read like 4 articles about it. Maybe he *should* start planning for next year.

That’s a perfectly cromulent take. Both Brad Storch and Betty Symington would approve.

I am jealous you got to type “Der Spiegel” so many times in an article.

The best bandwagon fans are hockey fans, as I don’t really give a shit what team you like or how long you have liked them, so I’m not going to judge you about it.

Give me the pole vault challenge 10 times out of 10. 100 out of 100.

Uh, what?

What?! I said “Buh-bye!” I just said “Buh-bye” 40 times in a row, why would I say anything else, it doesn’t make sense! Did I just say something without knowing it? No! Go! Buh-bye!

I charge him with criminal spelling of his name.

I heard he hurt himself washing his truck.

So all you have to do is find a restaurateur with a bad ticker and you’re on the road to success- got it! 

This is the best.

Hey, not guilty, remember? He’s was officially just a regular single murderer.