*As a VERB. Fuck me.

even if you don’t catch it the first time, i like to think most people would see the charge, and double check with a calculator before taking the time to write to the restaurant

I mean, there are people willing to vote for Ben Carson, so.

Man, I hate it when it sands in the winter, and I have to wait for the roads to be cleared before I can drive. I hate shovelling sand in the driveway, too. THough I love making sandmen, and having sandball fights...

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

If you bacon on it, it can count as Kosher, too. (at least, that’s what I’m hoping.)

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

Elbow. Had to look it up.

back of the knee

I just pre-came in my pants

I think you mean vaginal opening, not cervix. The hymen is a membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening, not the cervix.

I want some brave woman to date one of these guys, put a bit of bacon up there, and when it falls out during sex, tell them that that’s what a hymen looks like. “Oh, yeah, it’s supposed to smell hickory-smoked, that’s how you can tell I’m a for-real virgin”

“precum pregnant” is one hell of a bummer of a phrase

Like they would know what it looked like. PLEASE FOOLS you can’t even find the clitoris.

One 24-year-old woman told me that her boyfriend broke up with her because ‘he told me that I wasn’t girlfriend material because I had been with 10 guys

I’ve gone on two 10-day vipassana silent meditation retreats (the technique is purported to be the original teaching of Buddha) and normally there were three teachers up at the front of the room. Always, always, the male teachers came in first and the female teachers followed. When they left the room the male teachers…

I like to point out the recent massacres of Muslims committed by Buddhists in Burma as a way to blow “lol religion of peace” morons’ minds.

It’s almost like he’s just a person and not imbued with the spirit of a random god.

43 year old voluptuous lady savoring her invisibility power as well!

Few articles ago, a lady with my height/weight (5’1”, 135 pounds) called herself fat, and no one could figure out why she thought that about herself. These guys *right here* is why she thinks (and I think) that height/weight is fat.