But...how girl get pragnent? How is babby formed?

“Now he fumbled it in the air!”

That’s fucked up. Anyway, you guys wanna see my autographed photo of LL Cool J?

*throws voice across room*

You see, it's only socialism when the nig...I mean, when "the socialists" do it.

Now you’re getting it—people are always complaining about the system this, the system that. It’s not the system, it’s the electorate.

Yoenis Cespedes and Jose Bautista would make a great President and Vice-President. Could they govern effectively? HELL NO! Would they be any worse than whichever one of these hamburgers actually gets elected? MAYBE! And, besides, when shit goes sideways, they could just have a home run derby. If we learned anything…

Whenever we finally grow up enough to realize we don’t need polished facsimiles of people in suits saying stupid shit to get elected and start to actually elect people for what they have done, not what they promise or who they haven’t slept with, insulted, or what number wife they are on, the better.

Baseball has been my favorite sport my whole life. I loved this bat flip and I love all bat flips and think it’s ridiculous when a pitcher whines about it. Don’t want to get bat flipped on? Throw better pitches.

LOU GEHRIG WOULD WRITE AN APOLOGY NOTE TO THE PITCHER AFTER EACH HOME RUN!!!

All Cole Hamels meant to say was that Cole Hamels is an idiot, it just came out wrong. In his defense though, he still got his point across.

This is nonsense. No other sport has such a narrow definition of “respect” and “professionalism”. Baseball players are so sensitive.

Dyson should be more worried about setting a example for you kids who want to be pitchers.

I will always champion those who break the unwritten rules of baseball, because the unwritten rules of baseball are all, 100%, yes even your favorite one, fucking stupid.

I really HATE this unwritten rule that if you flip your bat after a homerun it’s considered “disrespectful”, and yet it’s perfectly ok when a pitchers screams and cheers after a strikeout.

Surprised Deadspin wasn’t too busy watching the Guatemalan national ladies field hockey team to notice baseball, you hipster douche bags.

TRUE FACT: Bautista actually shaves his beard every morning.

Something. Something. Unwritten rules. Something. Something. Play the game the right way. Something. One in the earhole. Something. Something. Something.