“What is the damn point of body cameras if they aren’t REQUIRED to turn them on? For the life of me I don’t understand why police, in this current climate, make things that much harder for themselves.”

Chances that one of Donald Trump’s adult children is more likely to appear before a Grand Jury than to appear in a Harper’s Index item: 3 in 4

Brian:

Read the quote in Lewis Black’s voice. Trust me.

Upside: can cross out the failing to “reimburse us the way we should be reimbursed” thing.

In Trump’s defense (fuck, I never thought I’d utter those words), it’s not like praying actually does anything.

You could replace “Charlottesville” with any word, symbol, emoji, or combination of the above and still have a true headline.

Someone needs to warn that dinosaur that there are sharks in that water. #themoreyouknow

And odds are very good that the thought, “I’m getting BJs from groupies in the same building that Steven Tyler and Joe Perry got BJs from groupies in!” never fails to put a smile on Joel’s face either.

Oskee-wee-wee!

Wouldn’t have to remind anyone once if every ticket to every museum included chainsawing each patron’s arms off at the shoulders. (Obviously, don’t include that in the advertising - it’s always easier to apologize than ask permission.)

Coffee is great, but stabbing him in the throat with a pencil would be better.

Perhaps Mayor Stanton could withdraw whatever permits were secured for the event. We know the President is all about the people having the permits.

+1 for the asterisked bit.

When Trump refers to Graham’s “election trouncing,” does he mean the most recent one (2014), in which Graham was reelected to his Senate seat by a margin just shy of 200,000 votes? (I mean, I know the Senator didn’t win 900 seats in the Electoral College, unlike the President, which nobody has ever done before, and he…

That’s two mentions of Steve Simmons in the last week. I’m not even sure he gets that in the Toronto Sun, the fishwrap that employs him. #haventweallsufferedenough

With all due respect, he did do all those things *frequently*, but he did not do them *well*. I mean, we all knew he was lying, right?

OK, who had “10 days”?

So how do we change that? “Foot” to “face,” I mean.

I can’t even begin to calculate how many zeros must be missing from that number, H&T.