“...faster than a sports car driven through the dealer’s picture window,” more like.

How does this even help? ROBOTS LIE ALL THE TIME.

I’m a little disappointed that his “Recent Achievements” page on the website makes no mention of his being able to run the 40m in 4.2s.

#BecauseItsThePlayoffs

Of course they’re not endorsing Trump just yet: they’re hoping someone even worse will announce his candidacy.

“Does absolutely nobody from the other team, players or coaches, notice that the ball was never actually thrown back to the pitcher?”

It is dad-gum strange, if you ask me.

“you actually do need some sort of study to prove arrest and sentencing are disproportionately affecting POCs”

I applaud anyone who can identify jelly bean and choose a favourite. I can never differentiate among them. Cramming them into my face 45 at a time might have something to do with that.

(It’s not that hard. One is right next to the other.)

For cognitive dissonance, you can’t beat nearly everyone on the big, wide, straight, and nearly empty Interstate tootling along at 50mph through a town famous for hosting car races.

Confused him with this guy: https://deadspin.com/andy-reid-did-a-press-conference-dressed-as-santa-1821566536

We used to just get stupefyingly drunk at the Horseshoe and then go around the corner onto Spadina Ave and order nearly everything off the menu of whatever Chinese restaurant we stumbled into.

What’s the name of the place in Charlottesville?

Reheating a hardboiled egg in a microwave, you say?

Maybe call Jeff Blashill? His Red Wings demonstrated just last night how much they know about collapsing...

The Squatty Potty people are leaving money on the table.

The Squatty Potty people are leaving money on the table.

The version of the video clip we get up here in The Canadia is inadvertently super-accurate:

Stop at the headline/photo combo. It’s perfection.

He’s going to be insufferable shopping for sticks now.