What’s the version of Occam’s Razor when you’re dealing with bumbling morons? Even way, I think it’s foolish to assume hidden meaning in this clown show.

No I am pretty sure that most open conservative prefer a smaller more efficient government

Conservatives think that Big Government is inept and can’t do anything correctly or efficiently, but somehow that same entity can orchestrate mass conspiracies that control everything we do.

Plot twist - Karen is married to the psycho you describe 

No, this is something certain kinds of men do.

Nah, I’m thinking its probably a middle aged man who wears a white Hanes undershirt tucked into jorts which are held up by a braided brown belt. He also wears white tube socks, and the same grungy white New Balance cross trainers that he has had since 2002. His hobbies include waiting for toilet paper and cat food to…

No, this is definitely an “old white dude” sticker.

Then they sign with Roadrunner and Rubin forces them to change their name to “Eight or Nine Shots of Fireball,” sell a No. 1 album, lose a member because they became too “commercial,” so they record a new album under the name “Definitely Eight Shots of Fireball,” which flops because it doesn’t adhere to the original…

I can play this game, but I’ve never had any bad drinks at a race track. Does that mean I’m disqualified?

It’s funny you mention that. I have a background in dealer ops management before taking up a career in building software and interface experiences... with a couple OEMs as past clients, and one of them was a certain Detroit-based make. So yes, I do have an idea.

“I bet he knows the score, though.”

I feel like the refs should've flagged that play.  I didn't notice any fouls, but Cleveland successfully running a play like that HAS to be against the rules somehow.

I got removed from Tips when I went freelance, so please send the pee pee tape directly to me, as per one of my emailer’s requests.

it’s about me smelling bad, wearing bad pants and getting into something after my skateboarding phase.

Who the hell tried to bury this by releasing it the Friday before Christmas?

So from what I’m reading here, that’s actually more real than what would be in the Olympics. Because if Parkour “is all about findings paths and making journeys across our terrestrial landscape” then it doesn’t have to be legitimately impressive stuff like you always see, it doesn’t have to resemble gymnastics at all.

I finally knew my dog was completely deaf because of the doorbell. He might be ignoring me, but there was no way he was ignoring the doorbell.

I’m just going out on a maple limb here eh but I’m assuming it’s “can-dah-navy-in”

In the early aughts, I was a freelance journalist in a major US city. The Church of Scientology had just set up it’s “learning centers” in low-income areas where they’d indoctrinate immigrant kids and then rope in the parents. I decided to do an investigative story about this, and it was to run in a two-part series in…

Yes it was insensitive bordering on a tad bit racist, but to be honest I - as a black woman - am actually happy to finally be associated with an otter, which is my favorite animal and incredibly adorably.