Boy Emperor
boyemperor
10/31/19
3:20 PM
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See you guys when you get sold...  I really love all your work; this is all really sad.

10/31/19
3:10 PM
3

Love all and sundry about Jalopnik... but until you are sold, Halloween 2019 is my last day here. I’ll miss all you guys; this is a sad day for me.

10/23/19
1:51 PM
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You know, someone might take the way you write about Brady and draw the conclusion you think he’s a giant regressive twat...  I’m just saying.

10/8/19
3:56 PM
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Jesus Christ, is that the best you can do? You know who is really fun at parties? Disgruntled nerds who get bent out of shape when anyone is insufficiently worshipful of their favorite comic book characters.” Read more

10/8/19
3:53 PM
1

“Describe the correct way to cut chicken with a butter knife.” is a question on the Wunderlich test.

10/8/19
3:27 PM
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I have thoughts and they are this: Nick Bosa is a MAGA chud and I hope he gets leprosy of the dick.

10/7/19
6:34 PM
1

How old is your son? I’m guessing relatively young, given the reference to the diaper boxosaurus rex... Read more

10/5/19
10:17 PM
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Man, I tell you, there was nothing about the clips or the write-ups that made me want to watch Discovery. But this trailer, well, I might just need to pay to watch this show...

10/5/19
9:20 PM
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Whole lot of “I’m way fucking smarter than everybody fucking else; write down my fucking brilliance” going on from the commentariat today.  So glad they’re here to enlighten us...

10/2/19
5:53 PM
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Douchey receipt, douchey... whatever the hell Darren Rowell is.  Tweet flagellator, maybe?

9/30/19
9:10 PM
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I worked at a Baskin Robbins when I was in high school. We offered small sample spoons to people who were taking time to make a decision. Read more

9/30/19
9:07 PM
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This one and the ultrasound one made me laugh...  but I have a really juvenile sense of humor.