True; I tend to avoid cars that have designs that are that poor. Not sure how sealed beam headlights would change the issue that you’ve identified though. 

How much cheaper, accounting for inflation?

You reference the Middle East and representation for individuals of Middle East descent three times.

Those fruitcake fenders are dent-resistant. 

Take a star, you punny bastard. 

What are you, some sort of rodent proctologist?

Before we started dating, I commented off-hand that to my now-ex that her nail polish matched my car’s blue. A few weeks later, I picked her and her friend up outside a club and drove them home, during which she commented that I wasn’t lying and her nail polish was, in fact, an exact match of my wagon’s Regal Blue…

SpaceX waited until the explosions appeared to have stopped before adding the feature of live crew. Seems that was flight 85.

May I poemify that for you:

Six syllables in your first line, but the sentiment is conveyed. 

Swapping in an LS3 doesn’t seem like a crazy build. Logical almost.

I think you need to show your math. 

Wouldn’t a peanut-flavored Cheeto be a Peeto? Not sure I want my kids exposed to that.

That sounds quite extreme. Does she reuse and leave laundry for weeks or is this clothing that undergoes “normal” usage? If the latter, she may need to be evaluated by a physician for a medical condition. Not saying she has an issue, just something to keep in mind if it’s really that severe. 

Many, though only the last one was where I had a moment of clarity that I was an idiot for doing something so dangerous:

To re-entry and...OH MAH GAWD!!!!

Your flow went off the rails after the ellipsis.

Alaska: Live, Freeze, and Die.

Virginian here, West Virginia can go fuck around with Kentucky. 

It’s amusing to see commenters decry the rise of “SJWs” and socialists as the fall of Jalopnik when many of the favored writers were driven out by venture capitalists, while slideshows and incessant pop-ups were instituted to increase ad revenue from the husk of the site.